"Don't Do It..." A TodoBaku Story

Why can't I feel? - Chapter 2

(This one is only Todoroki's POV, I'm sorry Bakugo fans 🙏)

Todoroki's POV:

Bakugo turned around and kept walking while I stood in silence, still looking at him. I had never been hurt by his mean tendencies but for some reason there was a sharp pain in my chest. Why? My father hadn't hit me there in a while, so what was this feeling that made me wanna die? While I tried to think of a reason I made my way back home. Eyes staring at my feet as took very slow steps. Probably because of my subconsciousness trying to stop me from going back to the place I could only describe as hell.

I opened the door to find Endeavor standing there. From that look in his eyes I could already tell it's not going to be a "him ignoring me" kind of day. Shit... He had been very busy lately so I thought he might be busy today too. I already knew that his pent up anger of me not using my fire and my lack of improvements had been building up for a little more than a week.

He started yelling but I blocked out all the things he was saying. It's always the same but this time the yelling was even louder and meaner than the last few times. While I was still zoned out I felt something large hitting the backside of my head without even realizing it. Of course I already knew what it was. Endeavors fists hit just as hard as when I was little. My knees hit the floor with a loud thud, I tried to get up only to get hit down again. I wanted to cry. If I cried then I'd at least would know that I'm still human. That I still felt things. But I don't.

With a blank stare I take it. He hits me, he kicks me but I barely flinched. Not because it didn't hurt. My body felt like it just got run over by a car. He draged me outside to "train" me. He tried to get me to do what he said but I would rather be burned alive by him than give him the pleasure. He screams, he hits and he burns me but I felt nothing. I didn't care anymore.

After a few hours I was left on the ground, just barely being able to move. My only comfort was the half burnt but still somewhat soft and gentle grass under me. I didn't remember the last time he was this tough on me. I wanted to lay there forever but after a while I forced myself to walk back to my room.

Everything hurts, inside and out. I hadn't eaten any dinner but I was already in bed. It's not good when I get left alone with my thoughts. All I could think about is how I wanna escape this life. I didn't wanna do this anymore. What reason do I have for existing? I don't remember what it's like to be happy. That feeling felt so foreign to me now. I'm so alone. No one cared about me. Mom was the only one who loved me but she hates me now. The only true goal I had was becoming a hero. A hero that would put people at ease when I show up. A hero like All Might. But all of that was gone now. I had given up. There's a bunch of aspiring heroes at UA. How would one less make a difference? I remembered Bakugo words. He's right. No one would care if I jumped.

There's no conflict in my brain about that thought. No what if's, no second thoughts. This barely felt like living anyway. I could just end it and finally be free.