What Changed Her

Chapter Eleven

Jim's P.O.V (cue dramatic Music)                                                                                                                        

     Sitting here doing paperwork was so boring. Considering the only thing I wanted to do was follow that ambulance. But I know I can't. I left for her safety and that's the way it has to stay. Even if I did go talk to her how do I explain myself?                  

   I miss her more than my own family. Granted I've checked up on her multiple times. It wasn't until this most recent assignment that I decided I had to stop checking on her. Checking on her was hurting more than helping. Especially after she started dating John. If he was anything like he was as a kid I can't wrap my head around the fact that she thought he was anywhere good enough for her.

   I feel bad for the way I pulled myself out of my old life but it had to be done to keep everyone safe. And the saddest part I've read every letter she wrote and put on my "grave." Those are what put me into my depression. Even though I stopped checking up on her I never stop going and getting the letters.

   Seeing her being dragged out of the ocean by Finn was devastating. I thought she was dead and that my choice of pulling myself out of her life was a mistake. Since the accident all I have done is think about all the choices I've made. Were they the right ones? I need to talk to Finn.

   Since I was working extra shifts to occupy myself I just went in early, when I got there Finn was there. It seems as he has been doing the same as me, working to distract himself.

"Was it the right choice?" I asked as I clocked in and stood next to Finn. He looked up confused. "Was it the right thing to just vanish out of her life like that? It was horrifying to just watch over her the weeks after and not go comfort her the times where she sat in her room balling her eyes out. Calling my name, "Jimmy why? I needed to have a best friend when as I grew up... We had a plan, we were going to be best friends until we got old and died. Why did you leave me?"'

    "Those were choices you had to make to keep her safe at the time so yes in that situation  but maybe it's time to be back in her life. I would ask Paul. But if it gets you out of this slump I would do it." Finn said in a way that had told me he had thought about it himself. The rest of my shift was uneventful this beach was normally safe. Hannah was the first accident in almost 20 years. Except for the occasional small cut a kid might get and need a place to wash out the salt water and get a bandage. Clocking out I set off to the agency I needed to talk to Paul.

   I work for an agency that is under the CIA we mainly do undercover missions where younger people are needed. Each person here has been picked by the head of the CIA according to their abilities and how young they are, first their parents are contacted and if they say no then the child never even knows that they were being looked at for the position and if they say yes the child is brought in for questioning here is where the final decision is made. This is one reason I dislike my parents so much they said yes because of my paycheck that they got to collect until I was 10.. They didn't care that I didn't want to do it. They told me before I left for questioning if I didn't say yes we were going to move so many times that I would never have any friends. And to my five year old self that was devastating. So I was at least smart enough at the time to ask for a year time period to say goodbye to my friends and that was when they told me I couldn't tell anyone.

    Then came the plan. No one would know for sure if I was dead, but most would assume I was so it was settled that was my extraction plan. At one o'clock AM I would leave the house and walk two blocks and get into the black van with the license plate TR245A. And then my new life would start. And I got one call to my parents a week and for the first year I used it, the number would show up as the police and Paul would ask to make sure it was my mom or dad in the phone before giving it to me. It wasn't until six months in Paul told me I needed to stop asking about Hannah it would only get harder to forget. But I couldn't just give up her so I ended up using Paul as a therapist. So he knew about everything.  I knew this was what I needed to do.

“Jesse is Paul here?” I asked the woman who had been the mother figure to all those in the house.

“Yes, honey, he just clocked in. He should be in the dining hall. Go have some dinner with him. He misses you, no matter what he says.” She always knew what you tried to hide.

I walked down the corridors towards our dining hall, pushing open the doors I was met with the smells of Italian and Chinese cuisines. One of my favorite nights to eat in the dining hall. They made the best spaghetti, I grabbed some and headed towards the spot that Paul  usually sits.

Sitting down I greeted my mentor, “How are you?” I asked.

Paul turned towards me, “Shouldn’t I be asking you that? I wouldn’t be if I saw the girl I love on her death bed. Not to mention you haven’t visited her yet.

I was in shock what did he mean on her death bed she was fine when she went into the ambulance. “Paul what do you mean? She’s fine right?” my voice had jumped an octave by the end of the question.

“Oh shit kid you don’t know, do you?” His face paled.

“No, I apparently don’t. I need to go see her. Please,” I was begging at this point. “If I just read her in it could be better, I could get out of this slump, and be happy.”

“It’s your decision kid, but know the risks. She would need to be trained some, at least self-defense.”

“I would keep her safe, and teach her so she’s not vulnerable. I just can’t do this anymore.”

“I get it. I had the same thing happen, but I didn’t teach her enough. You know Shelly’s story. Just don’t make it be Hannah’s too. Go get her out of the coma, if anyone can its you.” With that I took off running to the hospital. Running there, I was only about five blocks away, I called my mom and got the room number. I know I was going to have a lot of explaining to do but Terry agreed to get everyone out so I could have some time with her.

I made my way through the hospital nearing the door that was separating Hannah and myself. As I pushed open the door the steady beep of the heart monitor reached my ears and I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. Only for it to come back when I saw her lying there motionless.