Nephilim: Children of Angels

9: Sins of The Father

Warning: Suicidal Ideation 

"Ambien, leave her alone." Kali calls over from her seat. "This is what I was talking about. She wants you to make a murder- suicide pact with her." Kali informs with roll of her electric silver eyes.

I don't want to lose my train of thought, so I'm only half listening. We all have the same eye color, could that mean we are all related?

"Are you considering it?" Kali asks in a very judgmental tone.

"Considering what?" I ask, glaring over at her because she keeps interrupting my thought.

"Letting Jim Jones, there, kill you. Don't drink the kool-aid, Sara." She extrapolates.

"Kill me? We can die?" I question, my thought completely gone now.

"Of course, we can die. We just can't kill ourselves. Impossible to inflict enough damage. Trust, she has tried. She tried to get me to kill her when I got here. Went out of her way to torment me so I'd snap and do her in. That's why she doesn't get a roommate anymore." Kali explains.

I look over at Ambien and she is still staring at me intently, waiting for my response. Do I want to die? I did. It's not even that I want to die. I just want to stop hurting people. I hurt my friends, my dad, just my presence hurts my mom, then Mia. I shake my head. I can't think about it, or I'll agree to Ambiens proposal on the spot. I can't kill someone. I could never. But I relate to her. I feel for her. I want to help her.

"How about we really escape." I offer, turning to her conspiratorially. "Once I learn how to use my abilities, we'll come up with a plan to get out of here. Deal?" I hold up my pinky.

She looks at me flatly, her eyelids closing halfway. "I thought I told you to stop treating me like a child." She goes back to the rug in front of the bookshelves to make snow angels.

I look over at Kali for support but find her staring at me wide eyed. Her grey iris almost looking white with the fluorescents. That would make her my sister. I always wanted a sister.

"You can't run away." Kali says dramatically. "You remember what happened last night when you tried to teleport? It's the same if you try and walk out the door. The entire place is surrounded by some kind of forcefield, even the field. You can't get out unless they let you and they are never letting her out." Kali says matter of fact. I turn to Ambien, making her angels. Could anyone have changed my mind when I finally decided to die.

..................................................

I didn't rush to the bus like I was supposed to after mine and Mia's kiss. I was not going to the hardware store. I walked home, considering what I was about to do. It started to drizzle, and I walked faster. The spring day was an unwelcome familiarity.

My mom had several bottles of antipsychotics in her and dad's bathroom cabinet. Clozapine, carbamazepine, and lithium. I brought the bottles into the upstairs bathroom. I second guessed myself. 'Will these kill me or just make me sick?' I googled it but it was hard to pin down for certain. I ran downstairs to the garage and located dads box cutter. Grabbing a new blade form the box, I carefully brought it upstairs to the bathroom and sat it on the sink ledge with the pill bottles. I stepped back. I needed water to take the pills. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a plastic cup, not wanting to break a glass. I sat the cup next to the pills and box cutter blade. It was three o'clock on a Thursday. Dad didn't usually come home until five or even six on Thursdays. That gave me at least an hour. 'Is that enough time?" I hesitated. He might have come home early since I skipped going to the hardware store. He might have been on his way.

I returned the pills, trying to remember how they looked when I got them. I hid the blade in my music box then brought the cup to the kitchen to wait for my dad to get home and yell at me again. I'd pretend to be sick this weekend and dad would leave me home alone all day. I could do it then. I Just had to get through one more day.