I started this year, not with a long list of New Year's resolutions, but with only one guiding goal... it was more like a compass then a destination. I decided it was going to be a year where I picked joy above all else. When push came to shove, I was focusing on finding more joy.
The previous five years have been riddled with heartbreak and loss, trauma and pain. They have also been overlaid with a lot of learning, love and light. Our family has seen our share of struggles and miracles. I have grown and changed in some good ways. But as 2017 began, I could sense something had gone missing... like I had misplaced my keys. It was my joy.
I am not talking about happiness. I am speaking of Joy. I like to think of joy as a deeper, more complex version of happiness.
If you are reading this and you fight depression or anxiety, please understand I that I am not suggesting that you can just choose joy. But I do believe that people who struggle with life can understand processes of finding joy. It can feel like a game of hide and seek. I started this last year as a quest for seeking and finding joy under rocks, around corners, and in some very unlikely places.
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I hope my walk through the past 330 days will inspire you on your own joy journey.
January — Letting go
On the 16th, my only son arrived in Zimbabwe, a country on the African continent on the other side of the world. There is something heart wrenching and joyful when you watch your child leave to be challenged and taught. We felt the loss of not having him around the dinner table but we also began rejoicing as the pictures and letters arrived. The first clue in finding joy was letting go more.
What can you let go of to receive something new?
February — New friends
As I celebrated another birthday, I realized that in 46 years, I have known some amazing friendships. I have connected with lovely people at every stage and in every season of life childhood, teens, college, newly married, young motherhood and middle age. I love meeting new people but rarely do those connections develop into lasting bonds. The older I have gotten the more I value a quality few in my tribe. February taught me that joy is found in staying open to making new friends not just new acquaintances. It was at one lunch meeting, at the Blue Bird Cafe in Logan where two people became friends not just acquaintances.
Do you have room for a new friend? Is there someone that needs you as a friend this coming year?
March — Healing comes
Every year, probably for the rest of my life, March will hold a tender place in my heart. It is the anniversary month of my sister Meggan's suicide. As the third anniversary of her passing came this year, I still felt the void. I still wept for the details surrounding her death. But I noticed healing had come. It was almost like I was observing myself. There was evidence small things that signaled I was healing.
