to the girl he's with now:
he will kiss you like its springtime and chase away the cold of your bones. he will spread your clothes over the floor and butter on your toast. he will hold you from behind and show up at your work with a cheesy grin and a bad joke. he will make beds into castles and his arms into home.
he will give you the same gifts he's given to fifteen other girls. he will take you to the same place where he held my chin and told me everything would be okay. he will try to fix you, and you will feel your cracks healing. he will tell you his secrets and his fears and you will love him because how could you not?
and then one day his texts will start fading and he will start standing you up. one day you will wake up to a cold bed and a missing lover, one day he will only kiss you when he's drunk, one day he will stop telling you he loves you and starts telling you to get over it when you hurt, one day you will find yourself in an empty home with a shell of a body cradling a bottle of vodka and a pregnancy test with two red lines and crying your heart out because you love him, you would die for him, but you don't know what you did wrong and all you know is that he doesn't love you anymore.
i tell you this because i am writing from the dark space of an empty bedroom where he used to lounge and tell me stories, because i still ache from where he used to be, because he gravitates towards broken girls but leaves when he realises he cannot bear the weight of a responsiblity he has chosen, because i am carrying a part of him in my womb that will be removed two weeks from today, because i love him the way you do and i know that if he can ruin me he can ruin you -
and i fear for you
i fear for me
i fear for him
