i dreamt of you last night. i dreamt you were at a party and so was i and you saw me but left with another girl, skinny and beautiful and everything you wanted but i was not. she smelt like vanilla and chocolate and your friends whom i'd never met would compliment you and wonder what she sees in you. i saw you dance with her but i hope when you held her waist you remember that time you held mine and told me everything would be okay and when she leans in to kiss you you remember my lips against yours promising you didn't have to fix me because i'm doing it on my own.
and i hope when our song plays you freeze for a moment because you remember us joking about how a breakup song really isn't an appropriate couple song, and when she pulls you by the hand you remember goosebumps on yours when I'd interlock our fingers. I hope when you stumble into a bedroom and she fumbles with the buttons of that stupid button-down you kept saying you'd get tailored but never did you remember me tipsy and you wasted and me trying to get your clothes off or you'd wrinkle them -
and i hope as she straddles you you remember my favourite perfume that always made you pull me closer and inhale smells like vanilla and chocolate, and you'd look at the moonlight casting shadows on the floor and know that i'm always thinking of you.
but i suppose, in the end, she got the last laugh, because she's there and i'm losing track of the days spent in alcohol and meth, and you might be the moon but i hope you remember that even when the moon isn't shining it still pulls at the tide and causes it to rage, endlessly, fatalistically, at the rocks.
