To Love, To Fight, To Win

Prologue

I paced the length floor, trying to curb my anger before I did something stupid. I gritted my teeth together and glared at my eighteen-year-old daughter, who had just walked in and not when she was supposed to. My eyes flashed a darker gray, showing my true emotion that the rest of my face hid. "What have I told you, Addison?" I asked, my voice leveled and hard.

Jeremiah, my husband of eighteen years, moved beside me and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, stopping me from my pacing. If this had been a different time, his touch would've calmed the raging anger that I had felt, but it hadn't. Not this time.

Addison scoffed and rolled her blue eyes at me, and folded her arms across her chest. Defiance flared in her eyes while she looked at me straight on, hiding back the fear that she felt. "What? Just because I had gotten laid sooner than you, you think that you can tell me what to do?"

My anger flared like a dangerous fire. She knew nothing of what I had to go through when I was her age or younger. "Watch it," I all but growled out, noticing a small flinch coming from her. "You have no idea what I had to go through as a child."

Addison scoffed and rolled her eyes again. "I know that you didn't have any parents. And right now, I don't think I want you as a parent."

The next thing I knew, I had struck her before being pulled back by Jeremiah. My fighting instincts kicked in again after a long time of not fighting, and I dropped kick him onto his ass.

Jeremiah grunted and rubbed his head before tackling me onto the ground and sat on me. He had his hands on mine and looked down at me, his blue eyes twinkling with pain and merriment. "Damn it, Riles," he wheezed from having to move fast after I had attacked him. He tightened his grip while I struggled against him. "Stop struggling. If you wanted to get laid, then all you could've done was just ask."

That stopped me from moving and brought me back to the present. My cheeks reddened as a wave of guilt flashed over me. I had hit my daughter, something that I swore I would never do. Then, she had to see me beat up my husband, the man that had been there for ages.

He moved a hand through my unruly black hair and grinned. "Better?" he asked, chuckling when I nodded. He looked up to see where our daughter was trying to walk away. "Don't leave; let her explain." He gave me a look. "I'm taking Toby out. We'll be staying at Reifs. It's time."

I took a deep breath and let it out before nodding. I knew that it was time for her to know what I had been through, something that I didn't want her to burden just as both of us had been. However, I knew that I had to explain as to why I had attacked her like I did. "All right," I replied. "Be back tomorrow?"

Jeremiah smirked and kissed my forehead. "Of course," he said. He got off of me and pulled me up to a standing position. "I'll always come back to you," he whispered. He pecked my lips before leaving, going to get our son and leave to the only other male that I had trusted in my fucked up life.

***

I sat on the couch and heard the door slam as Jeremiah left with our four-year-old son. My mouth opened and closed, but it seemed as if I lost my voice. The fear that had been buried for years started to come up again, and I loathed being the same scared, broken girl that I had been.

"Well?" Addison asked, still standing in her spot. "Are you going to tell me why you hit me?"

I chuckled darkly and looked at my torn up knuckles. "I guess I should," I replied. I looked up at her, my emotions guarded. "You might want to sit down. It's going to take all night."

Addison shifted on her feet before complied and sat down close, but not close to me. Her whole body was tense, and it looked like she was going to bolt if I laid a hand on her.

I moved a hand through my hair and took a deep breath, again looking down at my torn up fingers. "The first thing that I need to do is apologize. I... I've had trouble with my anger before, and I swore that I would never hit my kids, but that didn't happen when I lashed out at you."

Addison stayed silent and looked at my torn knuckles before looking at the word 'Fighter' tattooed on the inside of my wrist. "Well?" she asked after a moment's pause. "Are you going to say anything or just sit there?"

I bit back a chuckle as she said the words that I've heard so many times in my life. "Hold your questions till the end. If you interrupt, I do not think I'll be able to start up again."

After Addison's nod, I took a deep breath and started to begin...