One Night Stand (3)

The Blue

Crystal's Pov

     It was quite chilly out so I wore one of my big sweaters and a coat. I knocked on the door. The doorman knew me now and I could come up on my own. He opened the door and the sight of him warmed my heart. I smiled and he smiled. He bent down to kiss me. His lips claiming mine. How he could still want me looking like this I'm not sure but he did. He pulled me into his arms. He was so warm and he smelled great. Mmmm.

He offered me hot chocolate to warm up. Little did he know I was already warm. Just being near him did that. After dinner he wanted to dance. "Come. Dance with me." He said.

"Thats how we got here." I pointed to my belly. That night we met, there had been dancing and we ended up in bed together.

"I'd say thats not so bad." He said and pulled me in close. We swayed to the music. I loved being in his arms. Suddenly I felt warmth travel down my legs. I stopped moving.

"Jimin." I looked down at the puddle forming on the floor.

"Yes." He said.

"I think my water broke." There was a flurry of activity as he got my coat and stuff. He drove to the hospital really fast in my car. I was glad to see we made it in one piece. It was really time.

While I got settled in and hooked up to IV's and monitors he texted everyone. He even texted my mom and friends. He gave me his hand to hold during contractions. It gave me strength knowing he was here with me. He never complained even though I am sure I was crushing his hand. Finally the doctor arrived and he said everything looked good and he would be back. "You're doing great." He said.

"I don't feel so great. I don't think I can do this, Jimin." He reassured me and told me I got it. It hurt so bad and I was tired. He gave me some breathing tips to try. It may have helped a little. "I feel like I need to push." Every fiber of my being was like ok time to get this baby out.

He quickly went to get the doctor. When the doctor got there and checked me he said, "Ok. Time to have this baby." It was a relief to push but man did it hurt. I was so so tired. Come on, baby. Time to join the world. "Ok. One more big push. Daddy help her to lean forward and here we go."

Jimin's strong arm supported my back as I gave one big push with all I had and finally it was over. I could just breathe. He held the baby up and said, "It's a girl." Then he layed her on my chest. She was so beautiful. We made that. Wow! I looked at Jimin and his face seemed to mirror what I was feeling. He kissed my forehead.

I felt funny. Like really light. Like I could float away. All the sounds got quieter and far away. "I don't feel right." Everything faded to black.

It was so peaceful. Everything was blue. I felt content. Where was I? I could hear a humming noise. It ebbed and flowed. I tried to open my eyes but I just couldn't. I'll just stay in this tranquil blue.

I must have slept. I still couldn't open my eyes but I could hear more clearly. I couldn't seem to move anything so I just listened. I heard crying. Who was crying? Then I heard a soothing voice. Something moved my hair. Why couldn't I open my eyes? I was so tired. I let the blue pull me back in.

I heard music. Or singing. I couldn't quite make out the words but it was beautiful and soothing. Someone was holding my hand. I felt peaceful. Where was I? Look the blue was coming. It was so inviting and I floated there.

As blue receded and more colors appeared, I could hear more voices. Some higher. Some lower. Maybe if I concentrate I can make out what they are saying. I heard Crystal and baby. I'm not a baby. Maybe it was my mom calling me her baby. I love you, mom. I couldn't make my lips move. Then I heard come back. Come back? I'm right here. Hello? Anyone? Why couldn't I open my eyes. The blue was getting stronger. No. Not yet. I wasn't ready. The blue came anyway.

The colors were brighter. Maybe I could stay this time. Words were clearer. The weather is getting warmer. The baby is growing like a weed. Please come back to me Crystal. She needs her momma. Who needs her momma? What baby? I was so confused. Then the singing started. It sang of a spring day that was to come after the long darkness. The voice was holding my hand. Who was it? Why don't I wake up?

The next time the voice was there it was crying. Sadness enveloped me. What was going on? I felt a weight on my chest. I brought her to visit you. I want her to know her momma. To remember her smell. Please come back. If not for me then for her. I could smell a soft powder smell. Mmmm. So nice. Something niggled at the edge of my mind. Who did this voice belong to?

Other voices made appearances. My mom, who talked positive the whole time and kept me up to date on the news. My friends were there several times. Rachel read me tabloid magazines. She always patted my leg when she was leaving. I heard many male voices but I couldn't place faces to them. That part was still all fuzzy. I found comfort from the one voice that had been there the whole time. He always seemed to have that powder smell with him. The blue always came and stole me away. It wouldn't let me move or speak.

One occasion I heard the voice start singing and it was joined by other voices. It sounded so beautiful. It brought all the colors. I could feel it run through my body. I thought for sure this would be the time I would open my eyes. The blue slowly crept in and drowned out the colors.

The powder smell was here this time. Mmmmm. It made my heart swell. Little baby coos could be heard. The voice was talking to the baby. Tell momma hi. Thats a girl. Daddy loves you, baby girl. Yes he does. Did I know this baby? Could I be her mom? I don't know. The more I tried to remember, the blue would come in and chase it away.

Crying. Crying. Sobbing. I could feel the voice holding my hand. Why was he crying? He spoke quietly. Crystal, you have to come back to me. I miss you so much. Our baby needs you. Please don't leave me alone. The doctor says the longer you stay in there, the less chance you come back. More crying. Lips on my hand that was between his two. I felt the warmth from his body as he must have lain down beside me. His arms were around me holding me. My hand still in his. I love you, Crystal. You are a huge part of my life. I didn't realize how much. Please, please, please come back to me. His lips were on my neck. He was wrapped all around me. I could smell him. That smell. So masculine. The colors swirled. New thoughts. No! Memories flooded in. Dancing. Dinners. Laughing. Cuddling. Hot sex up against the wall. Jimin!! My Jimin. Our baby. The blue threatened at the edges of my mind. NO! I wasn't ready. I had to fight the blue. I had to open my eyes. Crying. Kisses. Gentle arms. Crying. Murmurs of love. Come on body. Snap out of it. At least try to squeeze his hand. Come on. The blue kept creeping closer. No. Come on. Move. Move. MOVE DAMN IT. I think I must have because the crying stopped. He went still. Crystal? The voice said quietly as a question. Damn the blue. It was winning and overtook me.