Yesterday

Chapter 30

CHARLOTTE'S POV

The first thing I felt when I woke up was an excruciatingly painful headache.

I moaned as I rolled around and instinctively grabbed at my head where the pain was. I gasped, my touch intensifying the pain by a million. I then heard footsteps booming towards me

"Charlotte, love, are you awake?" I slowly looked up into his beautiful and innocent hazel eyes, staring back into my green ones with a look of concern in them. I frowned as I shrugged his hand off of my shoulder. I saw the light in his eyes dim a bit, but I didn't care. Did he always have to treat me like such a baby?

He loves you, Charlotte. Can't you see?

"Yes I'm up, and I'm fine," I said blankly. He blinked, seemingly taken aback. Embarrassed to even ask, I lowered my voice a bit. "Er, what happened, Paul?" He suddenly looked quite uncomfortable and his cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

"Uh, well when I woke up you were gone, and after a while I started to get worried so I went looking for you and found you in an alley with, um..."

As my memory came rushing back to me, I felt the anger boil up inside of me. How could I have forgotten? That ass could have caused me some serious harm. My frustration quickly turned into shock when the realization hit me.

Paul saved your life, you dummy.

I tried to push that thought into the back of my mind.

"Oh. Yeah," I said awkwardly. Paul avoided eye contact, looking sheepishly down at his feet. "I uh, have a recording session today with the rest of the lads," he said quickly. "Do you wanna come?"

I didn't have to think about it for more than a moment before answering. "No thanks, I think I'll just hang out here. I've had kinda a long day," I responded. Paul's expression became hollow, as if he had expected me to say no but had gotten his hopes up anyway. He forced a smile.

"I'll only be out a few hours, and I'll bring home dinner." He picked up his coat and his guitar case and made his way to the door. Just as he was about to walk out, he turned to face me. "Just promise me you'll stay here, okay?" I opened my mouth to argue back, but stopped when I saw the look on his face. He looked...Desperate. Just like everything else lately, it made me feel awful.

What the hell are you putting him through, Charlotte? You were supposed to be preventing this.

"I won't Paul, I promise." He gave me a small smile and a nod of his head, and with that he was out the door. The second he was gone I jumped up from the couch and ran into the bathroom. I examined the side of my head in the mirror, wincing at the sight of my bruised and bulging temple.

Real attractive, Char.

I groaned as I looked closer, poking at it. It looked like I was growing another head. That prick really nailed me good.

Walking out of the bathroom to return to my spot on the couch, I took notice to the thermometer, wet washcloth, first aid kit and several bottles of water that were lying on the coffee table. I could feel my expression go soft. Paul must have really been worried about me, I thought guiltily. Trying to push him away was a lot harder than I thought. I slumped over to the kitchen, opening the liquor cabinet. I don't know the last time I felt something other than awful. I poured myself a small drink, determined not to let myself get carried away, and returned to the couch.

I sipped my drink and occassionally ran my fingers across the giant lump growing out of the side of my head as I watched TV. As the day went on I began to think more and more that I should have gone to practice with Paul. He did seem kind of upset this morning, though. Maybe he hadn't wanted me to go at all.

Simply, I was bored. I poured myself another drink, finally beginning to feel a bit lightheaded. I knew sleep wasn't an option, because every time I drifted off I would start to have nightmares. Now that I thought about it, getting knocked unconcious was the first time I had gotten any sleep in nearly a week.

I decided to do what I always did when I felt lost or stuck. I talked to Elizabeth.

"Hey Liz," I slurred as I stood at the kitchen counter, pouring my third drink. I locked the liquor cabinet back up to avoid any temptations to pour a fourth. "I need your help...It's Paul."

I poured out my heart to her, admitting some things that I wouldn't have admitted to anyone else, including myself.

Probably just the alcohol. 

"I really do think I love him, Liz," I said sadly. "I haven't been cared for by anyone like this in a long time and it's wonderful, so why do I keep pushing him away?" 

Maybe because you're forcing yourself to, you idiot. 

"I'm sorry to bother you Liz, I just really don't know what to do," I concluded, feeling too dizzy to continue.

"Love you Liz, hope you're doing well. Say hi to Dad for me."