Almost done with this book! waaaa?? 😳🙌
The messages from Harry went on and on, each one growing more and more concerned than the last and Louis felt so guilty.
Harry was there on the sidewalk staring, anger seemly boiled down and now he was just standing there with his arms crossed, looking crushed.
"Harry I- -I didn't know." Louis admits, feeling more saddened himself just because the look on Harry's face was just absolutely heart breaking.
"I know." Harry whispers, arms tightening at his sides, closing in on himself even more. "I think that's what made it hurt even more." He says, finally letting his walls down. Harry and Louis both stood just staring at each other after that, just trying to find the right words to say.
After more time has past, Harry shakes his head, casting his view downwards. "Im..Im sorry. I'll go. I know you probably don't want your ex boyfriend screaming at you on a neighborhood sidewalk. Its..its fine, im okay." Harry then tries and leaves, embarrassed, but Louis grabs a hold of his arm before Harry can get two more feet away.
"Harry! Wait." Louis yells, spinning the boy back around for the two are facing each other once more. "I love you." The older boy says. If He wants Harry to stay, he might as well be honest to him. "I love you so much Harry." Harry just stands watching Louis blankly.
"I uh..I never meant to hurt you. I messed up love, I know, but just know I never wanted to see you cry. I never wanted you to feel the need to hate me. The only reason I fucked that girl Har, was because I was high and drunk of my arse, and I know that's no excuse but I would have never done it if I had more control on what I was doing. I think of all the good times we have had Harry, and I now know what we have is to good to let go. I haven't drunk or done drugs since it happened, and if it will win you back, I'll keep that streak till the day I die. I swear it! I know what really matters to me."
Harry sniffles, holding back emotional tears. "What?" He questions wiping his eyes, still refusing to look up into Louis's.
Louis smiles at his boy, hand still clutched around Harry's arm, He answers. "You."
Harry finally looks up at Louis, eyes red and puffy and full of a new emotion Louis couldn't place. Louis, expecting Harry to love his little speech and jump into his arms with everything being forgiven and in the past, was taken back when Harry didn't do any of that. Harry was just staring at him. Louis then realizes that Harry may actually not want to forgive him. He could just turn angry, and slap Louis for saying such ridiculous things then leave him forever. And that fact scared Louis more than anything.
Feeling exposed and vulnerable, Louis lets go of Harry's arm, missing the warmth almost right away, he doesn't want things to be more awkward than they already are so he decides to just put his hands in his pockets instead.
It almost feels like a death sentence. Waiting here, seeing what Harry has to say. There is a chance of course, Harry may take Louis back, but then there's that even bigger chance that he won't. Suddenly Louis's throat is dry, and when did he start sweating? What really sucks is apparently Harry never even read any of Louis's texts he had sent during the couples time away. What Louis just confessed now is only apart of how he really feels, but Harry may never know that if everything ends up turning for that worse.
"Louis I-" Louis snaps his head up as Harry begins to talk. "I um..appreciate your honesty" Harry says swiftly, then continues to speak. "But I..I haven't been all that honest with you myself, and I don't think its fair to you if I know the truth and you don't."
Louis's eyes grow large. What didn't he know?
"Harry?" He questions, when it looked like Harry wasn't about to go through with what he was saying, he gave him that extra push.
"I did read your texts. I read them all, opened them all. I wanted to reply so bad Louis, I did..But I was hurt. Im sorry you got hurt because of that as well. And I..I want to try again."
Louis's breath hitches at Harry's words. "You..you want to.." Louis trails off. He's so in shock and so happy, but he needs Harry to say it. He needs to hear him say the words.
Harry rolls his eyes at Louis, but just giggles at him, bubbling with joy if Harry was about to say what he thinks he's going to say.
"Louis will you do me the upmost pleasure you could do and be mine again?" Harry starts to smile then to, dimples poping out.
Oh my god. Louis thinks. He wants to be my boyfriend, he wants to be my boyfriend.
Louis couldn't believe this was happening. Is this a dream? God, Louis hopes not. If this is a dream he never is going to want to wake up. But then..the guilt hits. Here Harry was trying to make things right when he wasn't even the one who cheated. Harry, the one who didn't go out and get drunk at a club, the one who was as loyal as could be and now is apologizing, asking LOUIS to be his boyfriend? Louis is the one who should be begging for forgiveness. Harry is making this to easy for him. In fact, Harry shouldn't even forgive him at all. He was a prick!
Maybe Harry was right to ignore his messages for all that time, because now as he thinks back to that night Louis not only cheated but he called Harry names and awful things. Of course he still wanted Harry more than anything..He just didn't believe he deserved Harry.
Still standing there, feeling rejected as Harry watches Louis's face turn into a frown. He closes in on himself, preparing him for whatever was coming he gripped the hems of his sweatshirt tightly.
"Harry I- -" Harry watches intently as Louis tries, but fails to get the wanted words out without fumbling over himself.
Louis continues to stutter for a few more moments till finally he exclaims, "God I am so stupid!" 'He looks embarrassed' Harry notes, Louis covers his face with his small hands.
"Its just- - I love you. I always have, always will..But that's why I have to say..no. Harry I just can't hurt you again, I can't. I don't know what i'd do with myself. So we can't..All I do is make things worse."
Harry stares in awe. "Lou.." He said. "I thought you wanted me to forgive you?"
Louis sighs and once more runs his hands through his hair, a nervous habit of his that Harry has seen often in the years they've been dating.
"I do Harry. I want you more than anything. I just..I just don't think I deserve it." Louis whispered. "I don't know if I deserve you." He said even more quieter.
Harry sighs, he knows what Louis said is all a bunch of bull. To be utter-ally fair, Harry is still mad with Louis. In fact he is furious at him. But the love is overcoming hate. Harry's adoration and respect for his boyfriend never died, even when Louis cheated on him. But he was just so mad, that at the time, anger was all he could feel. But being back in front of Louis, seeing how sad and affected he was (just like Harry was) by the breakup..all those feelings of love are resurfacing.
Harry snaps back into reality when a memory and an idea comes to him. He extends an arm to a shocked looking Louis, and for the first time in months the two are touching again.
"Come with me." Harry said to his boyfriend. They never stopped being boyfriends. "I want to show you something."
A/N: Do you guys like the story? I'd love to hear your thoughts if so!
Last chapter will be up soon!
