SCARS || KIM NAMJOON X BTS

1

"Again, from the top!" Hoseok groaned once more as Namjoon fell again, looked down, and then regained the position he was in. They resumed their dance after hoseok turned on the music. This time, Namjoon made every effort to perform flawlessly, but just as the song was about to conclude, he tripped and collapsed with a loud crash.

"All right, take a 10-minute rest; we'll get started soon. Can I talk to you for a little while, Joon?" hobi asked. Namjoon bowed before leaving the dance studio with the older man.

"yeah?" Namjoon asked not looking up.

"Listen, I don't really understand your issue, but you need to work more on this; you're falling behind and cooperation would be really appreciated. We are all worn out and exhausted, but you know that our come back is coming soon, so you must work hard. Just make sure you do your part appropriately. I don't want to sound nasty, but Army is the reason why we work hard. Keep it in mind." Namjoon heard him with his head bowed, unable to look him in the eyes because of his embarrassment.

Hoseok patted his back before leaving him alone and heading inside; he didn't want to go inside so he went to the toilet. Namjoon sat down against the door, locked it, and then leaned back. Hot tears were streaming down his face as his head was turned to look at the ceiling, but he was out of energy to stop them. He lightly pulled at his hair with both hands, feeling nothing but frustration and disappointment. After crying his eyes out for about five minutes, he stood up and went to the washbasin to wash his flushed face, which was covered in dried tear marks.

Namjoon tried to look somewhat presentable, but he was a little uneasy about the possibility that they would get to know due to his red nose and bloodshot eyes. He moved in the direction of the studio while considering what to say if they ask him anything. He didn't anticipate them doing so because he assumed they just wouldn't care in the first place.

he entered the studio just to see them taking their positions..

"oh hey hyung we were waiting for you.. Where were you?" taehyung asked

"aah yes. About that. I umm, I-I needed some fresh air" he lied. nonetheless he took his position, he really hoped none of them noticed his state.

they were done practicing and it was now 6 pm and Namjoon was way too tired and he craved nothing but some sleep. they packed up their stuff and we're returning to their dorm. after they reached their dorm, Namjoon took a quick shower and laid down on his bed when he heard the door click open. it was Jin.

"hey.. What do you wanna have for dinner.. We're getting sushi-" Jin tried asking when Namjoon replied by cutting him off, "alright hyung just get that for me" it was about 20 minutes of him just lying there when he heard the door open again it was Jungkook this time.

"hey hyung.. Are you awake? Dinners here" Jungkook informed the older "yeah I'm coming in a bit"

Namjoon got up from his bed, made his way downstairs. it was just dinner. he hoped he'd handle it well.

They were all seated and helped themselves to whatever they wanted from the food. Namjoon's platter included two of his fave California rolls in addition to makizushi. his mouth watered as he rapidly put them in his mouth and chewed them quickly. Unfortunately, the quick chewing caused him to choke and begin coughing.

"Namjoon-ah eat slowly, the food isn't running away." Jin laughed. although it was a joke, Namjoon couldn't take it as one and was immediately conscious about himself.

he excused himself and went upstairs to his room, which seemed a little odd to the other members. he had a whole room to himself, which was great according to him. he then laid down on his bed, trying not to think about what just happened. he took out his phone, opening twitter. he wanted to read the comments under his newest post.

there were a few good comments from the start until he read a negative comment. there were people who were tweeting against the one person.

he felt nice that people were supporting him. He scrolled down more just to look at more comments he knew where this was heading to but that wasn't a strong enough excuse to stop him from reading them..

He scrolled down to find people commenting stuff like

You're worthless
You fat fuck
Bts doesn't need you
You're a drag
EW this tall boy is so weird
You're pulling them back
You don't deserve love

These comments were nothing compared to what he read next:
"Kill yourself Namjoon.. You're such a drag.. Bangtan is better off without you.. It's easy.. Just jump off your terrace.. Haha sorry I forgot you're a big fat coward.. Oops my bad"

He felt hot tears making their way down his face but he jolted up when he heard the door opening.. He wiped his face off and turned off his phone.. Jin peeked inside before speaking..

"Good night Joon" Jin smiled as Namjoon replied with a "good night hyung" and a small smile which soon vanished when the older left the room. He laid back down and burried his face in his pillow to muffle his sobs so that no one could hear them. Little did he know that Jin was outside listening to their leader's heart breaking sobs..

Jin sighed and made his way towards his room and decided to confront the younger the next morning..

On the other side, Namjoon had his mind clouded by a myriad of thoughts. He needs to slim down. He went to his bathroom, turned on the lights and changed out of his clothing. He noticed he was rather fat in the mirror and, once more, became aware that he was crying as he observed all the fat on his body. He made the decision to start eating less, start a diet, and increase his exercise routine tomorrow. He put on his clothes and went to his bed, where he sat down and fell into a sound sleep.

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here's the first edited chapter, i hope you like it~

treat people with kindness.

ani.