Chapter I: Haha, Simp!

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So you didn't listen the first time, guess you're gonna get the lecture again, close this book if you feel uncomfortably relatable to my very situation. You might think I sound crazy, then again you probably read this one book with a sassy, handsome, but very dangerous and powerful dude. If you know it, you know it. However, this is my story, and it's probably 10x worst and better, not to brag or anything. Usually, heroes are born from wardrobes from getting a scar from some noseless psychopath to falling into a rabbit hole, but me? I get a birthday invitation from a girl who likes me, only to be sent to my almost death. Spoiler alert! I guess that's a sign I should get on with the story. 

My name is Evangelios Aquiles Ichor, but you can call me Evan, Aquiles is reserved. Anyway, where does my story start? Oh right, like how all stories start, a casual day of school for regular kids, a nightmare for kids like me. I woke up from bed, no alarm rang meaning I was TADA! Late. That didn't rush me though, it's not like it was gonna help my situation, and before you laugh, yes, I sleep in my briefs, we don't talk about that. 

I rummaged through the messy piles that scattered across my room and pulled out a pair of slim, but tight jeans, which easily went through my legs and up over my underwear. Since I was a limp noodle, I didn't have the troubles of struggling with my clothes, however, they still felt weird against my skin, I guess I was either skin sensitive or really weird. Maybe both. Okay, offtopic, I know, back to the story. I pulled on a white shirt with a big black skull, along with a black jacket that had soul decals on both sides, with 3 white stripes to go with it as well.

I combed my hair, although it didn't even budge, it was still the same spiky, messy hair of a nest. I tossed away the brush and took one last look in the mirror, speaking of which, let's talk a bit more about my handsome self. For starters, I had raven black hair, along with obsidian black eyes with little purple specks and some blue ones too, both from my Mom and dad. You heard that right, lowercase "dad", I despised him even though he was barely in my life, oh wait, that's exactly why I despise him. Where were we again? Right, me. I had light brown skin (from some Hispanic ancestor), along with freckles that ran across my nose and cheeks, they weren't visible enough unless I was embarrassed. As if that wasn't enough handsomeness, I also had sharp cheekbones, along with dimples, and my teeth were super white, even though I skipped brushing sometimes (shh!). 

Okay, now I'm distracting myself, we were at...the mirror. Right? I'll just take my best guess. I pulled on my socks and headed out the door, but it was as if things wanted to go sideways (literally). I slipped and tumbled down the stairs until I reached the bottom with a THUD! I laid there for a while, annoyed and embarrassed, if my ancestors were watching, they'd probably be laughing their heads off at me. I wouldn't be surprised, apparently, I could accidentally be humorous, whether I liked it or not. 

I rolled my eyes and managed to get up, slowly approaching the kitchen, I really didn't need to get a daily dose of Mom's-sloppy-kisses-and-life-taking-hugs. Unfortunately, she caught me and bombarded me with exactly what I was trying to avoid. 

"Mom." I groaned, trying to pull away, but she had an iron-like grip. I didn't mind the hugs, to be honest, she was pretty much the best mom you could ask for. Since dad wasn't really with us, she was the one who raised us and still is. She did get with another dude, but he wasn't around either, apparently, he was a poet who traveled a lot, I didn't get to meet him, unfortunately, but thanks to him, I had the best sister in the world. 

"Baby, how many times did I say wake on time?" She pulled away.

"Umm...who's counting?" I played dumb.

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