A Way to Ruin Mankind (Frankenstein)

I wrote this last year for Honors English.  I had to write about a scene where Frankenstein had not destroyed the female monster, so it could be anything about that.  There was certain criteria for this.  It had to be double-spaced with 12 point Times New Roman font and had to be no more than two pages except I kind of cheated a little.  I made it 11.5 font to fit the two pages.  If you read the book, you can clearly see the last sentence before I started the story.  Another objective was to write as closely to the author’s writing as possible.  It's as close to her writing as I could write in that amount of time.  I suggest reading a synopsis about Frankenstein, so you kind of know what is going on.  Even then, I wrote it as if one had read the book and in some parts analyzed it.  I want people to criticize as harshly as you want.  The reason I didn’t change it is because I want criticism on my original work.  I have never gotten criticism on this, but I know there are many flaws to this. But I do see why people think this is good and I hope you do too.  I dedicated this to EclecticWriter because she is the reason I created an account on here.  

At that moment, I glanced at the casement where the creature stood erect.  His countenance expressed despair and coldness, while his dun-socket eyes showed vulnerability.  I noted that the monster seemed as wretched as it once was and as detrimental as before.

 He held my gaze for several minutes, while I mentally calculated if I should continue to bring the monster to life or destroy it all together.  For a mere second, I thought of Elizabeth and how the monster could make her his next victim. I also considered his words and didn’t want to be moved by his sophisms once again.

 I, eventually, came to the conclusion to abide to his caprice and gathered the tenacity within me to continue on with the creation since he was many things, but oblivion wasn’t one of them.  I, then, conjured that the limbs themselves were perfect when I first created the monster.  Naturally, I repeated the process, but the exception was the electricity; instead I used a substitute. 

 At that time, the monster slowly rose up, and I could barely observe its appearance: with the half dim candle, and it being several hours before dawn.  Coming closer, I scrutinized it and realized the outcome was nothing I expected.  She was beautiful with long silky black tresses, full and luscious brown lips, sparkling white teeth, an hour glass figure, an olive complexion, and big rich brown eyes with long black lashes.

 Each second the monster stared, his anger augmented and he became deeply rankled.  I portended that he would soon in leash his wrath on me and wreak havoc on everything that was dear to me.  In my most terrible reveries, I could never picture anything more horrific than reality.

 “Why do you dare deny me what I long for, and aggravate me to the extent of driving me over the edge?  You know I have nothing worth living for in this desolate world, and you have everything to lose, so why do you gamble with the lives of people you love?  Are you really that selfish you would risk someone’s life to just prove a point or to save your own hide?  You have already done it to William and to Justine.  How many more people have to die at your hand?  Nonetheless, I have reasoned with you why she needs to be of the same as me.  Now, she will see me like the rest of your despicable race, a monster who doesn’t fit into your world.  But remember this, I am powerful and will make you so miserable just like you have done to me.” His face was immutable the entire time, so I could not read his physiognomy.

 “You think I meant to disobey your orders to anger you because you are sadly mistaken.  What I want is to be rid of you and to not endure anymore suffering from your doing.  Besides, it’s rather hypocritical of you to say that, since you were the one who murdered William and framed Justine for the murder, so don’t you dare blame it on me.”

 Then, the monster stormed out through the door flinging one of the shelves across the room. When I looked back, I saw that the table that once held the creature was no more.

 Every thought came at once; I realized within a single month that the town would see many tragic deaths to come, and even the posterity will suffer.  I also realized that either she will be accepted as a “human” in society or be isolated from humanity, seeking revenge against the person who made her or all of mankind.

 The latter is far worst, even more so than the monster since people would beware him, but not necessarily her since she looked normal.  But the real questions is, would she turn out like him or far worse?  There was no doubt in my mind that she would never be a harmless creature who would make a living and not be in penury.

 That night, I convinced myself I was not responsible for the misfortunes that would soon be inflicted upon humanity, instead it was fate. 

 A few hours later, I witnessed a conflagration that engulfed several buildings a mile away.  Then I heard ear-piercing screams and saw a short dark figure running away which rendered me timorous. 

 It seemed that the things I created would ultimately be my perdition.

 What do you think?  The problem I feel with my writing is that all my stories have a lack of detail, so I don’t know.  I know punctuation is off and this was last October when I didn’t know a lot about punctuation as in semicolons, colons, multiple placements of commas, etcetera, but you can still tell me what is wrong with my punctuation.  I hope some people enjoyed this.