A Stupid Teenage Girl

My Life :(:

Okay so let's start.

It all started when my parents had a bit too much fun and took things to th- woah woah woah not THAT far back!!

So as far as remember I have always been a happy child but that all changed the minute I entered middle school (5th grade). I started to feel worthless and stuff but I ignored it and lived with the self hate inside and faked a smile so no one ever knew. I don't think I've said this before but I've been bullied but I don't want to go into details.
Okay so now skip ahead 2 years (7th grade) the moment I entered my 3rd period I saw a boy that stopped my heart and just took my breath away and I will admit that I still like him....a lot. His name is Jonathan and never in a million years would I have thought that I would fall for a boy like him.
I confined in my best friend Amber and told her that I thought he was cute well next thing you know,they're dating! yay Jamber for life :( Their relationship was a on and off kind of thing and I always stood up for Amber and one time he dumped Amber for another girl and I was quite pissed so I asked Amber for his number to give him a piece of my mind and we actually became friends and he and Amber got back together. So one day after school I facetimed him,it had turned into a daily thing....well let's say Amber broke his heart and I stayed up with him because he was crying and man did it hurt to see the one person you love cry.
So he told me what happened and I took his side and got into a fight with Amber but made up with her even though they weren't dating anymore.
About a week later my parents decided to go to Mexico and we left on Saturday well Friday night i confessed my feelings for him and he said he felt the same way and while I was away we were very flirty with each other but I made the mistake of telling him that I had something important to say and he thought I was going to say I didn't like him and stuff like that and he was quite upset and when I came back he was dating another girl,Ally,and I was devastated and cried my eyes out especially since I hadn't gotten over him and a few weeks later he started dating a different girl and again I cried and did self harm to relieve the pain and he knew about me cutting and told me to stop because I deserved better than him but my heart only wanted him! So now he's dating Amber again and yeah that's my love life so far...it's quite sad actually. I have a few other crushes that I'll list below.
•David
•Thomas
•random hot guy I met at Taco Bell :)
last but not least...Jonathan,and yes he poked me with a pencil today...did I mention he's in my science class too! :)
bye loves thanks for reading <3