I Wish I Were Him(Momojirou)

Together, But Not With Me

!Trigger Warning: su1c1de/ mentions of su1c1de.

Jirou's POV

The next morning, I wake up late, noticing that Momo's still asleep as well. 

"Puppy, we need to get up! It's 6:32," I groggily say.

"five mor- It's 6:32?!" Momo exclaims though sleep coats her voice.

"Yeah, we need to get up," I say, removing the covers from over my legs.

"Awww, you slept in my hoodie?" Puppy says, noting that I'm still in her sweatshirt.

"A-ah, sorry! Y-you can have it b-back," I say, starting to take off her navy blue hoodie.

"No, keep it! It looks great on you!" She says, making me flush red.

"Thanks, b-but I have to uh... go ch-change into my clothes!" I nervously stammer.

It was true, so I guess that part didn't really matter. I step out of her room but make sure to blow her a kiss. She gets it and sheepishly smiles, blushing. I head to my room and change, though fold and place Puppy's hoodie into my bag. Cheerfully, I head out of my room and head to class, running into Denki on the way. He dramatically clutches his arm and acts like he's gonna die.

"Oh, what ever shall I do? I'm doomed! I'm living my final seconds! Say goo-" Denki starts, though getting cut off my me lightly elbowing him in the ribs. 

"Ow! That one actually hurt!" He whines, clutching his ribs. 

I roll my eyes. "Oh, suck it up. That's nothing compared to what Bakugo would do."

He stiffens, and I laugh at him. He swiftly changes the topic to the video game he and Kirishima were playing last night. We talk about that for a bit until Kirishima rushes up to us.

"So, Jirou, like everyone knows you and Yaomomo are into each other, but I recorded a video at like 1 a.m. last night and heard this," Kirishima tells us, panting.

"Momo, I love you. Please tell Jirou that you're not gonna work. You know we're together and it's painful to see you two constantly hanging out. Hang out with your own boyfriend a little."

Tears started lining my eyes.

"I love you too, but Shoto, I'm poly. I can be in another relationship. I'll still love you."

"No, Momo. You can't be. It was painful enough with my last breakup. Just tell her we're together and stop flirting with her. It's simple."

"I love both of you. Let me be who I want to be."

"We are actually together. That's the thing. You're not with her. Stop this. Please."

The video ends there and I turn away, feeling hurt. Am I really that oblivious? I was asleep in her room, for God's sake! An arm drapes around my shoulder lightly. I slip out of the reach and sit down at my desk, letting my head hit it, hoping the pain would distract me. I close my face out from everyone else, wanting to be done with people. A medium-sized hand moves one of my arms out of the way. My tears multiply and I move my arm back in front of my face, attempting to avoid any more concern than is already there. I sob into my arms, pushing everyone away. Aizawa-sensei hears me crying and excuses me from class before Momo and Todoroki got there. 

Stupid heart, stupid head, stupid video. Why does nothing in my life EVER work out? I just want one good thing. That's all I want, but no. I can't have happiness, now can I? Every time I love or care about somebody, I lose them. Why did everything have to get taken away? First, my ex who commit, then my best FUCKING friend who just up and left, my grandma who passed to cancer, my dog that ran away, and my other ex who cheated. My own life hates me. What's the point..? I should just give up. Not a single fucking person would care if I'm gone. Hell, I wouldn't even care. I would enjoy it, quite honestly.

I lock the door to my room and my bathroom. I take a thick-ish rope from under my bathroom sink and stand on the counter to loop it through the ceiling. I slowly tie a tight knot around my neck and almost step off the counter. I hear a knock and Denki's frantic voice saying, "Kyoka, please open the door. I'm worried about you.

Yeah right. You're gonna be happy when I'm gone. 

 I take both feet off the counter and take a large exhale.