If You Want to Understand Penny Hubert...

Chapter 1: Challenge Accepted

It seems like in High School, everyone has their place. Whether you're a slutty cheerleader, or a stoned goth kid, there is always somewhere for you to safely turn. But what about those occasional outliars who never seem to have a group to go running to? What is it about them that makes them so unable to just find a clique, and stay there? Penny Hubert, a student at Harrington High School, was one of those lonely sheep who never caught a break. She wondered if she was ever gonna find a true friend, and how she would go about doing so. She had tried almost everything. From showing her debate team her dead snail collection, to teaching the junior varsity baseball team how to communicate with bottlenosed dolphins, she was running out of ideas how to impress her peers. She was tempted to just throw in the towel, and spend her high school career wallowing in self pity. But was that really something she would go for? Of course not! Penny was a girl of innovation and charisma! She said to herself, "Screw those douchebags, I'm a badass bitch!" But she whispered it to herself quietly in the girls' bathroom, because she just couldn't afford to get sentenced another detention. This year would be the year for Penny, the year that she finally found her true calling. Maybe she would make some geniune friends. Maybe she would be invited to some parties. Maybe she would even bang some hot guys. The future held amazing things for Penny. Our story begins with Penny hiding in the bushes. It was 5:30, a couple of hours after school had already been let out. But she had lingered around afterhours for a very important reason. Hot naked guys. Right above the bushes, was a very strategically placed window, in which Penny could gaze into. Penny would whip out her handy binoculars, and peep into the boys' locker room after their football practice. Penny's favorite part was watching those fresh, white towels being thrown off of their sweaty bodies. She kept a journal that was labeled Algebra, but truly, it tracked who had the biggest of dongs. So far, it was Richard Malone who possessed the juiciest of pickles. She liked Richard Malone. As Penny made some edits to her penis chart, after spotting some new contenders entering the locker room, she heard a door slam. "Oh, shiitake mushrooms! No one's supposed to be out yet! I still haven't decided if John's manhood is thicker than Drake's!" Penny whsipered anxiously to herself. Penny lifted her head slightly out of the bushes to see who had exited the building at an inappropriate time, and it was none other than Chris Dewinski. Chris was simply a babe. Yes, he did only have a penis rating of 7.5 according to Penny's calculations, but he made up for it with his buldging muscles, and beautifully styled hair. He was talking on the phone with his friend, who is presumably, also fine as hell. Penny leaned in and eavesdropped on his conversation. "Yeah, I worked out pretty hard today," he bragged over the phone, "I got all sweaty and shit, and that felt pretty good. So then I lifted some weights, to make myself even more swearty and shit. That also felt good. I love being a dude." Chris's voice was so deep and manly, Penny wet her panties. Luckily, she always brings a change of underwear in her fanny pack. "But you wanna know what sucks dude?" Chris asked his friend, "is when some jackass thinks he has the right to take your wallet. I had $200 in there, my I.D., my drivers liscence, and most importantly, my condoms! How am I supposed to find out who stole it?!" Penny's heart started racing with excitement, this could be her opportunity to get up close and personal with Chris Dewinski himself! Ever since she was six, Penny had been a devoted fan of the show "Do the Crime, Pay the Time" so knew everything about crime scene investigation. Mostly, she knew how to do stuff like properly sniff urine to look for cocaine residue, but if she could do that, she could most definitley find a stolen wallet. Chris drove away in his car, but he wasn't driven away from Penny's storming mind. She planned precisely how she was going to approach Chris about this situation, and in her mind, it was a flawless plan. She finsihed carefully observing the remainder of the boys shower and get dressed. Once all the other boys cleared out, Penny returned home as well, and thought about only one thing: Getting one step closer into a football player's pants. She had given herself quite a hefty challenge, and accepted it herself with great honor.