Chronically

Three

...

Julian

...

Kendrick had told me that even though I requested some space from the new pack's Alpha because of my nerves didn't necessarily mean that the request would be granted... He had said that Alpha Redwood could be a bit pushy, but that he normally means well... 

It's not as though I wanted to avoid him... I had just been hoping that I would have at least a few hours if not a couple of days to recover from the flight before having to plaster a fake smile on my face and pretend once again that I am okay even though it feels like I was run over by the airplane instead of just riding in it...

But no such luck has been granted...

I haven't even been given time to come in and sit for a second before pulling that bag out of my suitcase that Beta Delaney had been kind enough to stop and let me get from the dispensary...

Much less a chance to actually use any of it...

Every step I'm currently taking causing the grip that the devil himself seems to have on my spine to tighten making it nearly impossible not to flinch as I let Alpha Harrison follow me into the kitchen, the kettle that I found on the stove when getting here having been filled and put on for me by Beta Delaney before he left... The whistle just starting to ring out... "T-Tea?"

I know my voice sounds wobbly and that Alpha Redwood probably didn't even really hear it properly over the quiet hum of my phone still playing the playlist I put together for bad days to make them feel a little less shitty...

My body staying turned away from the Alpha behind me when I finally make it over to the stove, my hand reaching out to grab the counter to keep myself a bit steadier...

My knees wanting to shake from how tired I am, the last thing I want to do is faint in front of this man when I already feel like I'm in trouble... And that he's probably upset at me at the moment for not wanting to see him right away...

Or because beta Delaney told him I got weird over the way the van smelled and he came to investigate himself... It... I know what it means when you catch a scent like that and it makes you pause...

So many books telling me what it would be like to have that one special scent fill you with so much warmth that it almost makes you nervous... And I know that I should have asked Delaney to turn right around and let me head back into the airport to send me back to the Omega Registry home that I had been placed in a few months ago... 

Alpha Redwood had put out to accept another omega for his pack to foster... And that he didn't mind the extra care that someone like me needs... But recognizing me as his mate probably wouldn't be the smartest choice or even his first choice... And he's here to make sure I understand that I shouldn't unpack my bags because I won't be able to stay here after he rejects me... Or that if he does let me stay that I need to keep my distance...

Not that I would want to if that were the case... I've already been in a pack that didn't really want me and I would rather not stay in that situation any longer than I actually have to...

Just thinking about having to get back on a plane and going through all of the pressure changes... My body is just now starting to register all of the stress from the last couple of days and I already know I'll need to spend the next couple of days in bed... I can't imagine how awful I'll feel having to push myself to do the entire process over again so fucking soon...

Just the thought makes my body start to sag against the counter while I wait for his answer, my eyes not wanting to stay open as I try and be patient in order to give Alpha Redwood a minute to figure out if he wants to stay long enough to sip a cup of something warm or if he should be kind and rip the bandaid off... 

The longer he takes to answer as he lingers behind me makes my shoulders drop more and more with each passing eternity that seems to be making up a majority of the seconds that we are currently sharing... The sound of one of the two chairs at the kitchen table scraping itself on the floor finally spurring me into action, my body doing the best it can to stiffen itself so I can stand upright and start searching the cabinets to see where the mugs are that Beta Delaney mentioned before leaving... And the teabags that I had been searching for before the Alpha about to reject me had knocked on my now temporary door...

"Hey..." His voice is so low and gravelly I can't help but jump... My assumption that tea was okay with him since he was seemingly settling in apparently the wrong one... My arms dropping from where I had been rifling through the surprisingly full cabinets and wrapping themselves around my waist so I can hold myself together... My body still not able to turn around so I can face him... My eyes trained on the counter...

"Why don't I do that, huh? You should sit, Hun." The words are so gentle that they shock me, but not nearly as much as the feel of his hand settling on my lower back, the warmth radiating from his palm coming with tingles I never thought I would feel... The way they seem so eager to snap themselves through the thick material of my shirt so they can melt into my spasming back muscles as if to try and soothe me without even being aware of Alpha Redwood's real intentions... 

I don't know how to respond to him... I don't want to push back against his palm to keep the pressure there but somehow can't help it, my body seeking him out under the odd sense of relief the small gesture has given... A dread filling my body as I get a sensation that would normally send me sprinting to the nearest soft surface... Just like when the cord of a vacuum currently being used accidentally gets unplugged when you step just a little too far for the cord to stretch... 

The sudden booting down of my system that is a fainting spell... The dizziness that so quickly overtakes me leaving no time for me to even ask for help getting to the floor so I don't hit my head on the counter... My eyes swimming to the back of my skull so that an unsteady blackness slowly fills my field of vision blinding me as my body loses all will to hold itself upright... My muscles suddenly too weak and unresponsive to my need to stand on my own... My sense of balance abandoning me... The part of dropping that I'm conscious for sharp and backward instead of forward before the blackness that has eaten away at my vision sucks my mind into its empty swirls of nothingness and I'm lost...