Chronically

Four

...

Harrison

...

It had been more than a little concerning following Julian into his cabin, his eyes had seemed like they were barely able to stay open... His walk more of an exhausted shuffle, his body swaying for a moment when he had finally rolled to a stop... Right down to the way he had seemed like he had no other choice but to lean against the counter to try and keep himself up... I was hoping to maybe get him to sit and rest... But before I could even really pitch the idea and let it settle... He had dropped... The moan that had let itself past his lips in the process having made my soul freeze in my chest with how distressed it sounded, my hands barely fast enough to catch him and keep him from hitting the hardwood floors... 

I was so startled that it had taken me a minute to move...But once I did it took me all of two seconds to lower Julian to the ground, my body following not far behind him so that I can sit next to him and keep track of his breathing, my mind already having reached out to Delaney, and the pack's main Doctor, Addison, both of them already on their way... Drew's instructions being to make sure to keep Julian's legs elevated and make sure that he isn't starting to seize in the time that it takes the good Doctor to get here... A thought that scares me almost more than what's already happening... 

I was told that it would only take a few minutes tops... But waiting it feels like an eternity... All I'm able to do being stroking my mate's hair and feel guilty about coming over after he asked very specifically for me to stay away... If I hadn't shown up and made him answer the door maybe he wouldn't have fainted... But at the same time... What if I had not shown up and he had fainted by himself and hit his head on something? 

It's a vicious cycle of guilty thoughts that I can't seem to break myself out of... The longest eternity cutting itself short when Delaney doesn't bother to knock, choosing instead to let himself and Addison in, both of them redirecting themselves when I manage to clear my throat of its thickness and call out to them... The relief I'm craving from the stressful situation of seeing my mate pale, unmoving, and on the ground does not come to me just seeing Delaney and Addison finally arrive... It means almost nothing to me until I see Julian open his eyes and tells me that he's okay... 

Voices spill out into the room but I can barely make sense of what's being said, Addison's medical bag being set loudly on the table with a thud that almost makes me look up from Julian's palid face just in time to miss the twitching that starts in his eyes...

The tiny little crinkle of his nose commanding my attention as I try and remind myself that I need to sit still and keep his legs draped over mine to keep them elevated... But it doesn't make it any easier to not lean in and invade his space while he finally comes to... The tiny whimper that gets let loose from the back of his throat one that pulls on my heartstrings... The hand that had been busy stroking his hair out of his face slipping down to caress his cheek as if to ask him to come back to me... 

...

Julian

... 

When... When my head stops spinning... And the darkness finally starts to let me go... It feels funny...

My... My head doesn't hurt as bad as it normally does... 

And my body doesn't feel as stiff as it should for falling onto what I know is a hard floor... 

But then... Slowly... It starts to register that I'm not cold... I'm not alone... My knees not feeling locked up and pained from ending up at weird angles from the fall... My legs set in someone's lap, the warmth of the other person radiating up to greet me in a way that nearly makes me want to keep my eyes closed so I can let myself drift off to finally get the rest I know I need... 

But the hand stroking my cheek is what prevents it... The pattern so slow... The action so soothingly concerned that I can't help but peek to try and see who it is that thought to take care of me... And if the scent of honey and vanilla in my nose is a lie or if the palm touching me is really Alpha Redwood... And that he stuck around... That he stayed with me... 

It takes me a moment to figure out how to get my eyelids to cooperate with me... The way they flutter almost making me a bit dizzy before calming down just enough to let me see and be shocked by the face staring down at me... Worry lines etched so deeply into his forehead that I almost want to reach out and touch him to smooth them away... 

I start to reach up to him... Try to tell him that he doesn't need to worry so much about me... That this just happens sometimes... That I just need a few minutes and then I'll be fine enough to pick myself up and take myself to bed... But before my hand makes it he catches my palm and lifts it to his lips, a firm kiss being pressed to the inside of my hand before he lowers it back down to where it can rest on my chest, his hand keeping hold of me in a way that no one else ever had... 

I don't normally cry when I faint... I just give myself a little bit to recuperate... Call the Doctor if I hit my head, but otherwise, just take it easy for the rest of the day...

I try not to baby myself or dwell on it so much that I get sucked into the trap of googling what could possibly be going on with me when every test that comes back tells everyone that there isn't a reason for me to keep dropping the way I do... All it does is leave me scared and that doesn't help anything... But this time... Coming out of it is different... It feels weird... Almost like Alpha Redwood actually cares instead of just being confused as to why I fainted... 

And I haven't had anyone actually care in so long... 

I don't have a choice in whether or not my tears start to fall... 

They just do because at the moment it doesn't feel as scary as it normally does... Because someone cares... And is worried about me...