Boyfriend for Christmas

Chapter 23....

Knox

What the hell was that?

That was the only thing that kept running through my mind since the grocery store. I had to have imagined that...right? I could've sworn my hand was still tingling even though I've long since dropped Aubrey's hand.

It was probably just an electric shock from the cart that went through our hands. Had to be. I've never felt my hand zing like that before when holding someone's hand. I wasn't sure if Aubrey had felt it so I had kept my face neutral but the entire time I couldn't help but wonder what the hell was happening.

Even now as I sit on the couch I can't help but wonder if I imagined the whole thing or if it was real. The fact that Aubrey didn't say anything made me believe it was all in my head. It had to be. I wasn't here for something like that.

I don't do relationships. Nothing ever good comes out of them. One way or another they all end, whether that person cheats or just falls out of love with the other. The only couple that love has worked out for was my parents.

High school sweethearts that were married for 29 years. I never once saw them fight and when they did have arguments about something they sat down and resolved it. They were the type of relationship I always wanted growing up.

Even in high school I wasn't like my friends. I didn't sleep around with everyone and I didn't lead a girl on only to break her heart. I wanted that 'grow old with' type of love.

The first girlfriend I had was my freshman year and we only dated for 4 months. Nothing went wrong we just both weren't ready for a relationship. We were way too young to even know what love was.

My only big relationship was the summer before my Senior year of high school. I met Tammy down at the beach while at a party with some friends. The first time I saw her I was smitten. Blonde hair that hung down her back in loose waves, long tan legs that literally had every guy at the party drooling. She was just plain gorgeous.

Somehow we ended up talking and that night we stayed up until 3 in the morning. Never in my life had I felt such a connection with someone. After exchanging numbers we spent hours texting.

Hours turned into days. I learned she went to school near by and even when the school year started we stayed together. Every second not spent playing sports I was with Tammy. I even drove 35 minutes almost every day just to see her. She was literally everything I had ever wanted. She was my 'grow old' type of love.

Even after we graduated and I decided to join the marines Tammy stayed by me. We spent the whole summer glued to another before I left for boot camp. And even then we texted until I couldn't anymore. Then we switched to letters.

For literally 9 months we wrote back and forth when we could. She was busy with school and some days I was out in the middle of nowhere for days on end. Every time I got a letter I fell more in love and knew when my tour was up she would be waiting for me.

I had it all figured out to. I was going to return home to surprise her and from there I'd propose. We may have only been 20 but that didn't matter to me. The last 2 and 1/2 years was all I needed to know that I was going to marry this woman.

But like everything in life reality hit. I had been gone for 5 months out in the desert with my team. There was no way to get any sort of communication so I was never able to send Tammy anything.

As soon as I had returned to base, back in the U.S now, I was ready to finally be able to call her; even though I was exhausted and dirty and shaken from what I had just gone through. Only to find a letter had already arrived. By time I had gotten it two months had passed. I should have known when I opened it that I had been Dear Johned.

Apparently while at school Tammy found someone else. To this day I can still remember what she wrote to me. I read that letter countless times trying to convince myself it was fake. That she was playing some sort of joke. When I texted and called her she didn't answer. After countless calls I finally stopped and knew I had lost the love of my life.

At first I was hurt, heartbroken. Even my own team tried to get me to go out with them to move on but I couldn't. After a few weeks my hurt turned to anger. It was right then I realized that true love didn't exist. That being in love with someone was the worst thing you could ever do to yourself.

I vowed I was never going to go through that pain again. I gave up on my 'grow old' type of love. I re-enlisted in the marines shortly after and only ever did one night stands. I was never with the same girl twice.

Now years later I still don't do relationships. The type of power that comes with relationships was something I didn't care for. I wasn't going to allow another person to hurt me that bad ever again. It's easier to just be alone. And honestly I was doing just fine.

So even though I may have felt something around Aubrey, nothing was going to come out of it. Once we are through with Christmas I will head back home and go back to my life while she goes back to hers. This really was nothing more than a transaction. I get paid for my time, my sister is finally happy. It's a win win.

However, when I glanced over at Aubrey as she sat beside me on the couch, talking animatedly with her brother, I could feel something inside of me shift. 

A full Knox POV! A little peek into his life and thoughts.  You guys were wanting one so here we go! :D  This gorgeous aesthetic of Knox was done by kimberly_white101 ! Thank you so much! Fits him so well!