Boyfriend for Christmas

Chapter 38....

The rest of Christmas flew by. When I finally joined everyone back downstairs it was time to make breakfast. No one questioned where Knox and I were but the knowing look that Jackson gave me made me flip him off which only made him laugh.

After breakfast we spent most of the morning sitting around. Sophie and Charlotte played with their endless toys, while the rest of us drank more coffee and talked. We talked about everything and anything and we even brought up stories about dad. Stories that made us all laugh despite the ache that he wasn't here to enjoy this day with us.

It had started to snow a bit earlier so around noon everyone bundled up and went outside. And true to Christmas fashion an all out snowball fight started. No one was safe as we all, including my mom, threw snow at one another. We were all yelling and laughing so hard I wouldn't be surprised if the neighbors could hear us.

When I somehow hit Knox in the face I ran away laughing only for him to easily catch me and swing me around. The smile on Knox's face was the realest, most genuine smile I've ever seen on him. He was enjoying every bit of this. In a way being here was his own therapy in dealing with his parents death. When he went over to hug his sister I knew that bringing them here helped them just as much as it did me.

Once we are all too cold to function anymore we piled back inside for more hot chocolate and food. I had to stop myself from laughing when Knox tapped my leg three times when my mom kept pushing him to eat more food. The system I had with my dad coming in handy.

Knox and I were pretty much glued to the hip most of the day. Even when I was off talking to anyone else I felt his eyes on me. We would look at each other and share a grin before turning away.

The rest of the day went by so fast that before we knew it was dinner time. When we sat down to eat a bit later we were all sit sitting in our PJ's but none of us cared. Not as we laughed and talked loudly all through dinner.

It wasn't too long after we settled back into the living room did things start to die down. Sophie was pressed against Jackson on the couch sound asleep, while Charlotte was cuddled up next to Knox, a stuffed animal in her arms. The two so worn out they could barely eat dinner.

With it being such an early morning and busy day we all sat around quietly talking. The hectic day catching up with all of us. I was leaning onto the opposite of Knox, quietly listening to my mom tell Olivia and Knox the story of how my parents met.

For the first time in...well for the first time since my dad got sick, I felt happy. Completely and utterly happy. I was spending christmas with my family and with two people that randomly came into my life at the right time. Happy that I was finally seeing I needed to heal. Needed to get over the guilt that plagued me.

Laying here on the couch surrounded by everyone I cared about I slowly felt the part inside of me that was broken start to mend itself.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next day was hard, very hard. It was the anniversary of my dad's death and the second I woke up I felt like crap. A year ago I was sitting in the hospital waiting for news only to hear he had passed. That my kidney had failed him. This time last year I was...numb. I felt like a zombie just walking around.

That day was just a blur. I remember seeing my dad and saying goodbye but that's about it. One second we were at the hospital and the next we were home. I later found out we spent two days at the hospital, none of us having slept either.

Now a year later it still feels so fresh. Being here in the house didn't feel the same without him in it. And today seemed to make it all worse. I cried in the shower but after that I was once again numb. I could tell I freaked Knox out when I didn't say a single word, not even when he teased me.