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5

How does someone fall out of love? How does that happen? What makes you fall out of love with someone?

I should've known, I should've known, I should've known fall was coming. Summer doesn't last forever.

But oh boy, oh boy, I didn't see fall coming.

Winter hit like an unexpected snowstorm.

"I don't love you anymore."

It should be illegal to say that.

But I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it wouldn't last.

And I knew why.

I was obsessive. I needed my Joely-too much. That was too much for him, a poor human. He needed space, and a lot of it. And I needed him there to whisk all the icky feelings and the nothingness away.

We fought. Each for our own needs.

Compromise. Not on my part, but his. He suffocated in my demented grasp.

And, I dare say, I was possessive. I was afraid that if he went away too much, he'd see clearly and realize I wasn't good enough. Or worse, that I was hurting, choking, suffocating him.

And so he fell for a clean slate.

Someone who didn't have icky feelings or emptiness or messiness in her head.

He didn't cheat, he wouldn', that's not him at all.

So poor Joel fought his feelings, his own confused thoughts, for me.

Because he loved me.

A love he shouldn't have ever had.

It would've saved us all some heartbreak.