The Real War

The Aftermath Part 2

The plan now was to meet Tom for lunch and Chris for dinner. I showered and put on minimal makeup as Zen picked out my outfit again: A light-weight navy blue turtleneck tank top tucked into a floral embroidered A-line button-down skirt paired with navy suede heeled boots. I expressed to her that I wanted to feel more covered up than I was last night but still wanted to feel cute, when I met both of them. She of course delivered and instructed me to put on some of her Versace perfume before I went out the door.

The drive to the restaurant was probably only about 15 minutes but it felt like 2 with the way my nerves were rushing through me. I park the car on the street and I spot him as soon as I got out of the car. Tom in a button down t-shirt and dark wash jeans waiting for me by the door with a bouquet of flowers. He spotted me too once sound of my horn beeped meaning I had locked the car. He straightened up and gave me a weak smile before greeting me, "hello, love." He spoke softly into my ear and brought me in for a one armed hug as his other hand was a bit busy holding the flowers. That was until he handed them to me, "Peonies. You're favorite." And he gave me a wider smile as I looked down at the beautiful display and thanked him.

We entered the restaurant. It was an Asian fusion restaurant designed with all private rooms. I had been here one other time before and it was with Chris but I knocked that thought out of my brain quickly and reminded myself to focus on Tom right now. We sit down and start with the classic awkward small talk and ordered our food. As soon as the waitress left I started the conversation that we both really came there for. "Are you mad at me?" I asked and Tom instantly shook his head no and a little panic, "No no, love." He had never called me 'love' until today and I could tell it was going to take some getting used to. He brushed his hair out of his face and got really serious, "I mean, I was a little last night. I was mad at everyone. Mostly Chris and then you and then at Jake and Jacob. But I can't get mad at you until I know exactly where you're coming from. So I'm not mad. But... But why didn't  you tell me about Chris?" He asked and I could sense the genuine hurt in his voice. It made my heart twinge.

"To be honest, Tom, I didn't really think there was anything to tell for awhile. Until. Well, until it was suddenly clear one day that his feelings were mutual and then I panicked and stewed in all of the feelings for awhile. And frankly, I didn't have a clue at all where you were at until last night." I took in a deep breath and nervously reached for my water and Tom mimicked me. "I'm so sorry!" We both said at the same time and then let out a nervous laughter.

The waitress was back with our orders and we put on a normal act for her through the duration of her being in the room. I pushed around my pad thai as Tom started back up again, "That wasn't at all how last night was supposed to go you know? I had a whole plan!" He talked out as he broke apart his chop sticks and started to prepare his sushi on his plate. "You- You had a plan for last night?" I asked hesitantly and he shot his deep chocolate brown eyes back up at me and nodded before speaking, "The plan was that once you arrived I'd work myself up to feeling confident. Confident enough to go on stage and sing... Which I obviously did but the original plan didn't include me being angry and sloshed and even singing that song..." He shook his head disapprovingly to himself as he stuffed a salmon roll into his mouth. I took this as my turn to talk, "What song then?" I asked.

"When I'm Sixty-four by The Beatles-" he cut himself off by smiling as he watched my eyes go wide and silently acknowledged that he did in fact know that was one of my favorite songs and then continued, "And then... The plan was to take you on to the dance floor and tell you what I've been dying to tell you for weeks now." He got upset again and stabbed one of his sushis, "I wasn't supposed to drink that much and well Chris wasn't supposed to be in the picture... (Y/N) , I need answers too. When did you and Chris happen? Like how did it happen? It's thrown me through such a loop, (Y/N). He's like 40!"

I nodded knowingly and cleared my throat to give him what he wanted. "He's 38... Chris and I have never happened, really. Just lunch dates that we denied that were dates until... Well until one day and- well damnit Tom I don't really want to go into those kinds of details with you.." My voice quaked a little and surprisingly Tom let out a little chuckle, it was a tad angry, "yeah I don't think I want to hear them either." We took a moment looking at each other and I knew what I had to say next to ease him, "Chris and I have never kissed or actually acted on any of our feelings. Just like the way you never have with me and I never had with you. You know, with him it's complicated and as you know, with you it's been complicated too.... Last night I was just supposed to go to the party and spend some time with the both of and hope that one of you would make a move so I knew which direction to take my heart in but both of you made moves and then the Jakes blew everything up and now we're here. I'm sorry this is my fault."

All while I was word-vomiting at him the two of us pushed out food around not really eating any of it. We should have known neither of us would have an appetite. "It's not your fault, (Y/N). If I had stuck to my plan and hadn't gotten carried away with the beers maybe things would have gone differently... And after thinking it over I don't blame Chris too much either. He only yelled because I yelled and clearly we were both feeling the same sort of heartbreak in that moment, I mean look at you." He lightened up at the end and gestured toward me, "You're beyond beautiful. All I could think about when I found out Chris felt the same way I did about you I couldn't help but think about all the gushy things I think and feel around you and him thinking and feeling the same way! It did my head it. Whenever I'm with you-" And he cut himself off and put his normal face back on as the waitress re-entered the room with our check. She asked if we wanted boxes for our food but with both declined.

When she exited he continued instantly, "whenever I'm with you my whole body feels weightless and whenever I'm not with you there's like this part of me missing and I fill it with thoughts of you. I've never felt this way about anyone. Any. One. That's what I've been dying to tell you ever since I pushed you away that day outside your trailer. The second you walked away I couldn't believe that I'd let my ex get to me like that and I realized it literally seconds too late. I regret not telling you sooner. I was just so scared." He ran his fingers through his brunette locks and leaned back defeatedly in his chair. When our eyes met again all I could see was blury outlines of his worried face. "Love please don't cry!" He started and reached for my hand. I let him take it and I collected myself. "Here, let me get the check." It was the only thing left he knew what to say to me and as he filled out the paperwork I finally let out, "I just- I just need some time."

My body had a mind of its own at this point and I got up out of my chair and put my bag over my shoulder. Tom hopped up to meet me beside the table. "(Y/N)," He practically whispered and took a step closer to me, "I almost forgot the best part of my plan.." He took my face in his hands and looked at me smiling oh so carefully before pulling my lips to his. The kiss was as careful as his eyes, he didn't want to make another mistake. His lips soft and moved oh so gently against mine as I kissed him back. I reached my hands up to his wrist and we broke apart. "Take all the time you need." He spoke breathlessly. "Friday." I told him, "I'll let you know by Friday."

He walked me to my car and I carefully placedthe bouquet of peonies on the passangers seat before driving away. I watched inmy rear-view mirror as he strolled the other way down to his car until Icouldn't see him anymore. I was back at Zen's before I knew it. And waiting forme was Chris, bouquet of peonies in hand.