The Real War

The Aftermath Part 4

Zendaya and I spent the night in, talking over my options a day later. Chinese food, cookie dough, wine and a lot of talking. "Right so where do we start. You've met with both of them and well they both kissed you and they both want you. Anything else?" My best friend asked like it was the simplest facts in the world. "Damnit Zen. How am I gonna figure this out by tomorrow?" I asked he and she took out a legal pad and pen, shoving it in my lap. "I'm not doing a pros and cons list. That's so shallow." I said and tossed it onto the coffee table.

"Alright. Let me just ask you some question then." She said and pondered for a moment and rapidly typing onto her phone the questions. A few minutes go by and I start to stare off into space as I stuffed spoonfuls of triple chocolate cookie dough. "Okay. First question: What are you attracted to? You know, objectively." I shifted uncomfortably; I had never really told anyone my check list but Zen sensed that might have been my hesitation and assured me that I could trust her. "Okay... Well, They have to be at least 5 inches taller than me, which isn't hard to be fair. I don't have a hair or eye color preference.... Well maybe blue but all of my exes have had brown... And an accent. Nothing is sexier to me than a man's voice and an accent just adds to it. And well, of course British and Boston are my two sweet spots." I was rambling so Zendaya cut in. "You know you did just describe the both of them."

"Z!" I whined and she sprung to action once again. "Question two: How does each one make you feel when you're with them?" This was an easier question, I thought maybe something would come out of this, "With Tom he makes me feel special and cool, actually. Like when I'm with him he just always says how 'cool' I am, that's how he would put it. He has a lot of nervous energy through which at times puts me on edge... But that could just because we have had all of this sexual tension. And when I'm with Chris, I feel beautiful and safe but he's a bit of a closed book... Until recently that is."

"You're just not making this easier on yourself." Zendaya said and I gave her a death glare to tell her she wasn't making it any easier either. "Third question: What kind of relationship are you looking for and which one fits that bill?" That one was a doozy so I took a few minutes before I answered and Zendaya was patient with me. "I want to be with someone who is looking to settle down. I know I'm young but I'm not built to date, I'm built to be a girlfriend or a wife. I want a man who cares to hear about my day and supports my work and is willing to tell me what's going on in his head. And to be honest, I have never been with someone who makes me feel fully comfortable in bed or has even really made me feel satisfied once we're finished... Soo... That's important too."

Zendaya nodded and took all the information in before she looked back up to me to ask her final question, "I see... Now when you picture yourself in that relationship, is it Chris or Tom there with you?" And with that I knew. Instantly it was all clear and I couldn't wait until tomorrow to see him to tell him.