He Cares 💕

Chapter 5

His whole life he had believed that true love was bullshit. He believed when adults told him that love was only fragments of your imagination, just the brain playing tricks on you. Not one couple made him question that, his parents weren't in a shape most would call 'love', in fact his friends parents weren't in love either. Every single marriage, relationship, couple, every single one miserable and deprived of love. It didn't help that his mother walked out, failing to mention to either that she loved them deeply, though Ethan questioned the memories of his mother 'loving' him. He just accepted the fact that he would never find love, he would never have someone to love, nor someone to love him. Every now and again the thought would make him tear up, which was an unusual sight as the stern man barely cried. The thought that somewhere there were people who had an easy life, people who could love whoever the damn they wanted. For a man who so strongly disagreed in love it was interesting how much he envied that, a life where he could simply pick up the girl he loved and twirl her, and kiss her, and love her, without a worry who saw. And right now the girl he so very wanted, needed if he was telling the truth, was in a cold hospital bed, alone.

He knew all too well that she needed him, but he couldn't bear the fact that if he got there and something happened, that he wouldn't be able to help her. He considered Naveen's words "you have to understand that if you rush to her side and something goes wrong, it could be harder than it needs to be." Was Ethan really about to ignore her, was he really about to pretend she ceased to exist and move on until she was better, or simply gone. It was the right thing to do, right? No matter how much he wanted to be there, to hold her in his arms and tell her that he wanted her, needed her, he resisted. Slowly but surely picking himself off the wet bathroom floor and wandering to the cold bed she once warmed for him. The same bed he let go of his worries and made love to her. The same bed he had her tangled in his arms, her face nuzzled into the gap between his shoulder and neck just a few nights before. He couldn't do it, he couldn't bring himself to forget about her. He had given in, "Fuck," he thought as he raced to put her favourite shirt of his on. "I can't let her die, I can't let her go, not now, not soon, I'm going to take care of her, I promise," the promise half to himself, and half to her. "I'm coming sweetheart, I'm coming"