"So how's school? "-mother asked calmly
"Fun"- my dry reply
"Oh, did you eat already dear, I prepared dinner for us i was just waiting for your father"-she said in lovely tone
"Yess, agh my head aches, I'm tired I'll sleep now" - I Whisper in her ear then bid a kiss on her left cheek she'll knew I'm drunk;beer smell.
"Sweetheart are you drunk again? Did u skip school? I thought we already talk about your education, your father won't be happy if he'll know this?"-she's kind of worried but in dominant voice, oh here is she being a good mother again.
"Then don't tell him, I'm not in the mood mom, you know what to do, tell dad im tired from school and yes I did I skip class today, it's Friday you know, teacher's are lazy to teach during Friday" - I tell her annoyingly and head in my room
Mom utter few words and the door open hearing dadys voice bidding hi to mom.
My vision is twirling around I might stumble little later if I don't sit in my bed.
Ahh fuck yesss,, my life's been like this after Elixiz die. Drinking and barfing Oh what if I follow him? Hmmp... na he'll be mad to see me on hell. After I'm done puking I sit on my bathroom floor.
I kind of miss him a little extra today.
Tears begun to flow down...
"do u see me right now eli Ang Sakit sakit naman ng ginawa mo? You left your only sister without telling me where to find you? Are you happy with that? It's like I was being pierced by multiple needles Inside my heart...somoene help me please. Help me remove at least one of this needle. Help me eradicate this tremendous agony" I don't know who am I talking to? Perhaps his ghost? Damn I wish there's really a ghost of him wandering on earth.
You were the only one I have....
"Let's go to pancake house sey sey.. I know youll love a bucket of ice cream,I really owe you a lot of time so I spared this night just for us, you know a workoholic man needs to focus but it's okay tonight's an exception!! " - he said excitedly after we dance outside the hotel venue of prom.
Kuya, if I know this will be the last dance and the last time I'll be able to see you I should have spend the most precious time we had, hindi ko alam kuya,I thought we could always do the same thing I thought di ka mawawala. How could fate be so drastic.
"Sey, wait up I have a phone call, I'll be back in a minute"
"shoor shoor be fashh plishh" - I replied full of ice cream in mouth
"Hahahahha don't talk when your mouth is full! Wait mee sey"- he left our table and went somewhere to answer the phone
"Sey I'm sorry I have to leave, some emergency meeting was called out, but hey I can stay if you want me to" - he tells me worried sick and I couldn't stand being his priority right now when I know he has job that was way more important than my sulk. I'm upset really really,we only got few chance to spend time together. Right after he finish his college he engage in business and start his own Company.
"No.no.no. let's call it a day Kuya besides busog na rin naman ako
Dang I have a dump already ill wait you at home later so please come before midnight" - I pleaded using my puppy eyes and crossed hands
"Alright wait me later let's play psp show me what you've got cupcake!!" he kisses my forehead and leave in a second.
What now? Nakakalungkot, I was really happy just few hours ago. Sinundo ako ni kuya eli pagkatapos ng prom namin. For sure andun na yun sa labas ng hotel 30 mins before the prom ends in case I escape. Wala umalis nanaman siya. I got no other plans but to went home.Just got myself a taxi.
I waited Eli till midnight,I was hopeful to see him even my eyes wanna shut down.Why are you taking so long!!!! I'll wait him. He'll be here just a sec. No don't close I'll play with Eli he'll be home soon.....
As everything went dark...
Damn you Eli
I wake up hearing the crying voice of my mom..
"Mom why are you crying what time is it? Is kuya eli home?" - I asked her while I'm half asleep, somewhat confused. She was a bit surprised to see me? But she dismmised her starting to frown face
"Sweet heart goodness you are here...*sob* your brother won't come home *sob*
He had car accident this 12:30 am as he was heading home" - mother told me as if it's like a disney story where In a family member leaves and the ones left wait even it takes years. But they ended up reuniting. I was a bit astonish about his surprised face.
"So, where is he now? What hospital he was" - I asked optimistically, no Eli is strong, I remember when im afraid of frogs in the backyard he always showed up and kicks the frogs away from my sight. Every fear I have he can always countered it with his strong will. Elix is not weak. My only brother is not weak. He'll be home soon.
"He's dead on arrival sweety"- she's sobbing so loud but I cannot hear. I only know my heart is pounding so fast. So Loud that it blocks any other sound. I couldn't even hear my wailing mom.
I ran away, I went outside and look for him, no he's not dead, he's here hiding somewhere the woods or the neighbors house or even at the backyard like when we play hide and seek. Kuya Eli is here somewhere. No you can just leave! We are still playing the damn PSP stop playing with me like this elixi. No,No,No,
I'm pulling my hair as hard as I can. Frustrated by this unexpected news.Tell me this is all part of an exciting surprise, perhaps it's my birthday? My mom? Tutyy my cat?? It hurts so much elix I'll forever be mad of you if you fool me.
"Kuya elli pagod nako time first I cannot find you, uuwi nako" - (me 8 years ago)
"Wait up!!!! bang* you lose again Sey Sey" - (young eli) evil laughing, carefree.
Those memories pop out of nowhere I continue running and calling his name.....
"Eliiiixxxiiii"
"Eliiiixxx"
"Ellliii-----"
"Honey honey wake up.... "-mom in a very afraid tone while tapping my left cheek slowly.
"Why? "-I asked confused
"You were shouting your brother's name so we went by and check on you " - dad beside mom telling me so with very calm voice. I don't remember coming to bed. I should stop getting drunk. I need a sober mind.
"I'm sorry for that you can go back now" then I wipe my tears away as I watched them kiss me in the forehead and leave soon shutting the door slowly. I dream of him again.Nothing is new. Eli, how can I make up things? Why is it really difficult to cope up with?!
There's my sob next to my flooding tears again.
YOU ARE READING
The Warmth Of My Ice
General FictionIn life we are meant to unexpectedly meet someone who might warm the cold life that we have. The odds of life may not be in our side when we are on the peak of coming out of the four corner vast of freezing room. Someone will be outside waiting for...
