Matthew Gray Gubler Short Stories - Christmas Edition

Not Tonight Santa #4

Just a heads up: there may be someone half dressed in this. It may or may not be Matthew.
Also: part of the story contains sexual harassment and some swearing.

Don't get crazy, Santa baby

You know I'll always leave a little treat for you

It might sound stupid but I need cupid

More than all the presents that I think I'm due.

Another Christmas and as the girlfriend of someone in a well-known television show, you were at yet another Christmas party and this time it was fancy dress. To make up for dragging you to so many parties, Matthew had let you pick out your costumes and – boy - were you going to make him pay. You had decided to dress up as Aphrodite, the Goddess of love and, in keeping with the theme you had going, you had made Matthew dress as probably the most hilarious thing you had ever witnessed; Cupid, nappy (diaper) and (not so) all. As soon as he had stepped out of your en-suite bathroom, arms crossed over his chest with a face of pure thunder, you had failed to keep a straight face and ended up sinking to the ground clutching your sides. He was unamused for a while until he figured that he totally deserved the public humiliation for making you be social every night that week and decided to go along with it. He decided that he would take it on the chin and have a laugh with it. If he was already laughing at himself, everyone else would be laughing with him and not at him.

But when you arrived at the party, Matthew refused to take off his jacket. His cast mates Kirsten, Shemar and Paget had other ideas. They weren't going to let him stay wrapped up all night so in one fell swoop Shemar kept him still whilst Paget and Kirsten practically tore his jacket off him. They stood back, startled for a second before they erupted into laughter, alerting other people to Matthew's utter embarrassment and misery. You laughed with them. You weren't being cruel; it was just pay back, and if Matthew hadn't been up for wearing what you had picked out, you would've been fine with him wearing something else.

Pretty soon, you had both been separated with you choosing to go get a drink (or six) and him mingling with other friends he had made over the years from being on set.

You had been sat in pretty much the only vacant spot on the sofa for about an hour, nursing your drink. You were squished in between a pretty hands-y couple who were making out and continually pushing you into a drunken Santa on your other side who had been pestering you every time his lap was free of "girls who were on the naughty list" as he put it. Annoyed, you stood up and began to walk away. He immediately stood up, following closely behind you.

He sidled up to your ear and as he tried to coerce you into sitting on his knee for the third time, you snapped.

"For someone dressed as probably one of the most lovable characters going, you really are a dick. Now; for the third and final time: fuck off and stop following me!"

He wiggled his head at you in a sassy manner, mocking you. "Why'd you have such a stick up your ass?"

You rolled your eyes at him, growing infuriated. "Leave me alone. I need to find my boyfriend." You continued trying to find Matthew, entirely freaked out by the man and wishing that a meteor would fall out of the sky and strike only him; but to no avail.

He snorted, keeping only about a half inch between you. "Yeah, right. If you did you wouldn't be here alone."

"I'm not alone, actually. He's around here somewhere..." You looked around hoping to see him. "He's dressed as Cupid. Now go take a long walk off of a short pier." You desperately tried to lose him. You spotted Paget and sent her a wave as you mouthed "Matthew?" at her. She waved back and pointed over to the makeshift bar.

"You mean the guy in the diaper? That's that Matthew dude from Criminal Minds." His tone turned nasty. "You're a liar."

You were this close to punching him.

"You clearly want some." He gestured at your slightly revealing outfit as he tried to grab at you. You pulled away from him quickly. Now he had gone too far. Yes; it did show off your cleavage a little but that didn't mean you were up for sex with a random stranger.

Stunned, you spun around and in a flash threw what was left of your drink in his face catching him off guard. This caught the attention of everyone in the crowded space in front of you.

Suddenly Matthew's face bobbed up from the crowd. He had seen the guy harass you from the time you had stood up and had been trying to make his way to you.

He held his hand out to you, pulling you close to him. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I just need to get out of here."

"Home?"

You nodded. "Home."

******

Happy Christmas Eve! The final story in this collection will be released tomorrow. I think it may be my favourite!