Dear mom,
Mom I just can't take this anymore, all this pain inside of me is taking over. I can't stop the demons inside my head I don't want my life to end I want the pain to end but it's not that easy and simple I can't switch it off just like that or else I wouldn't be writing this letter. Mom you're not like any ordinary mom you're my bestfriend you were sent here to make my life easier and happier, guide me through the hard times, hold my hand when everything goes dark, simply be there for me, and you have you're the one that cared and loved me for who I am. You did your best and succeeded. Just know that you were the best mom and I love you too much! I'm sorry mommy...
Hey I'm kiera and I'm the one who wrote that letter. You might be wondering why I'm still alive or maybe the real question here is "how?" Well get comfortable we're gonna go down memory lane.
The day I wrote that letter I was committed to ending my life right there on the spot but then I heard my door knock and there came in my mom... She hugged me so tight and said we need to talk...That "talk" turned into her telling me she had stage 4 lymphoma (for those who don't know it's a type of blood cancer) I was heartbroken but I knew I had to be there for my mom so time passed and passed with me laying on the couch beside my mom's hospital bed hoping she gets better as they say "time heals all" but it didn't. One day I woke up to chaos in the hospital room nurses and doctors rushing in and out I needed answers I stood up and all I saw was my mom dying slowly... the doctors said they couldn't do anything else and all we could do was wait. I held my mom's hand and hours passed by until she started to let go of my hand and told me: "I'm not gonna beg for your sadness to go away but for you to walk away from it, I love you kie." Those were her last words those words saved me they salvaged me. I'm 18 now and I just started college got in with a scolarship that's great and all, but not a day passes I don't think about my mom and her last words but I had to make a painful decision and let her go not because I don't love her but because I love her way too much to let her suffer because of my pain. I wrote this to tell my mom how I feel.She got to say her last words to me but I didn't.
After my mom died I realized when someone loses their parents they're called an "orphan" but I didn't just lose my parent I lost my bestfriend and that can never be given any title because the pain is too excruciating. When I think back to that day I decided to kill myself I see now that I was selfish to end my life when people like my mom had no choice but to die.
Those last words my mom said to me before becoming the angel she was and still is saved me just remember there are people out there that will love you care for you and you in return will love them and care for them and be there for them you will build trust between eachother and hold eachother when times get rought don't let the hardships of life drive you to that point there are even greater points in life that will lift you up and you will feel better than ever! Don't end your life, start over...
Suicide hotline:
1-888-628-9454
