I knew long before I ever loved another and even before i learned to love myself; your voice entangled into my subconscious...so familiar. I never knew where you ended and where I began. We fit together in perfect harmonic chaos for so many years. you scared me away from exploration but saved me from mindless curiosities keeping me safe by overwhelming me with doubt, "Don't get in that car; don't go there; don't say that; dont touch that; don't swallow fast." With the same tone of doubt you stifled my creativity and imagination. "You won't win; you're not good enough, why even try?" As i grew up, you did as well, feeding off of my insecurities whispering to me:"You're too fat! Cover up before anyone can say anything!"and again,"You're not as pretty as other girls are...you will never be good enough for anyone!" You were so ingrained in me that I trusted every word you spoon fed me, I trusted you more than the realities in front of me. Your hold was too strong over me it was as I may put it 'a smothering comfort'. Blurry visions, shortness of breath,quaking thoughts,sweaty hands all the symptons that pointed that you were on your way back from a short vacation that in my head lasted a second. You came and left me with fear, you left me emotionally strained in a dark, dense, black void.
P.S. I never liked you.
Sincerely, your closest friend ghinwa.