Not Good Enough [BakuKami]

Smile (part one)

Ahem, trigger warning suicide. (Sorry?)

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Bakugou stared at Kaminari's door. He had no clue why he was here, it was the middle of the night. What had drawn him here, was it that he could feel something was wrong?

He had an uneasy feeling in his stomach as he placed his knuckles again the door twice. "Pikachu you awake?" He asked then waited. And waited... and waited. "Pikachu?" He knocked again.

Nothing, he shook his head and walked away from the door.

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A few hours earlier.
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Kaminari sat up on his bed as Bakugou sat down in his chair. "Talk to me." The explosive blonde practically begged, he was desperate after four week and not a word from Denki.

"Just please, I want to know what you're thinking. I can't read your mind." Kaminari looks him over before sighing and getting out of his bed.

Bakugou watchef him walk to his closet and pull out a hoodie. "Kami please."

"Why?" Kaminari asked quietly looking into his closet to avoid Bakugou's eyes. He didn't want to look at those red eyes.

Bakugou stood up and walked over to Kaminari gently wrapping his arms around him. "Because I want you to talk to me. I want to hear your voice, tell me what you're thinking?"

Kaminari stared forward, held his breathe until he couldn't anymore and he inhaled Bakugou's cologne with a hint of caramel. He bit his lip to hold his tongue, he wasn't ready but it suddenly came flooding out.

"I'm confused." He says nearly silently. "I don't know what I'm thinking anymore, and seeing you makes it better and worse at the same time. You kissed me and I don't know if it meant anything. Was it pity? Do you actually like me?" The question poored out of him until Bakugou stepped back and turned him to face him.

"Pikachu... I'm not good at emotions and shit. I don't even know why I kissed you, just forget it happened, okay?" Bakugou says moving away from him. "Can you do it again first?" Kaminari asked looking down at the ground.

A hand gently came under his his chin lifting his head up, he felt lips on his again. He melted into his hands going to Bakugou's hair as the other blondes hands were on his waist and one on the back of his head.

Kaminari pulled back for air before leaning back in to Bakugou. The pattern repeated over and over until they were both panting, Kaminari was laying on his bed, Bakugou on top of him.

Bakugou paused holding himself up on his elbows. "What are we doing?" He asked snaping Kaminari out of his little hazy. He blushed and looked away from him his cheeks bright red. "Kami, you alright?"

"Why are you stopping?" Kaminari asked quietly wiggling his hips before bringing them up. "Please, we never have to talk about it. Just love me for an hour or two." Bakugou stared at him before nodding. "No, not this. I'll make out with you all you want but I'm not having sex with you."

Kaminari sighs but accepts it kissing him again. "I'll take it." He mutters before nudging Bakugou off him. "Let me up."

Bakugou moves back standing up and looking down at him, Kaminari sat up. "You should go, before someone comes looking." He mutters looking at his lap. "Okay, I'll see you later then." Bakugou says lifting his chin again to give him one more kiss before leaving.

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Kaminari sighed as he leaned back against the wall, he'd hidden himself in his closet. He smiled softly to himself. He'd gotten his talk and now he wish he hadn't.

He looked down at the blade in his hand, and the pill bottle next to him. 'Just forget it happened. I can do that.' He thought setting the knife down.

Bakugou's voice echoed constantly in his mind telling him things he hadn't actually said. Kaminaru pulled his knees up to his chest, he looked at his alarn clock that he had moved to see it. It was late but not yet midnight.

'Bakugou should be asleep by now.' He reassured himself getting up to grab his glass of water. 'No one will find me until this is over. One way or another.'

He picked up the pill bottle and emptied it into his hand, thirty-two tablets, all at once he took them. What did it matter? He couldn't be a hero, he would never be loved, his friends didn't actually care about him.

'My journey ends here.' It was strange he always thought he'd be sad at the end of the road. Now he was just getting a little sleepy.

'Do I write a note?' He wondered looking around his room, it mostly blurred when he mived his head. It took him longer than he thought to find a paper and write down a little note. What it said doesn't matter, as he laid it on his bed and moved lazily back to the closet.

His phone said face down on his desk, which was normal at this point. His favorite jacket was hung on the back of his chair like always. His Pokemon stuffed animals littered the place. Everything felt oddly distance to him as he picked up the knife and just placed on his lap.

Kaminari let his head fall to the side, too tired to process what was happening around him. He didn't hear the knocks at his door. "Nap time." He muttered quietly as he fell asleep.

A tiny smile on his lips. One last smile.

O

r was it?