Her Crush

- 10 -

HETTY MERANDUS

I promised Healer I would message him, but I broke that promise. We didn't get to talk more. When they lost against the South, nahiya akong i-chat siya. Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin o ang gagawin to comfort him. And even if I did, what if he felt offended? I'd heard him talking to Light after the game, dumaan ako purposely sa gilid ng gym, umaasang makasilay... but their conversation tugged at my heart.

"Uno's obviously injured, I felt bad for thinking they're at a disadvantage. Parang kailangan ko yatang mag-sorry." Boses ni insan, obviously still devastated.

"Forcing him to play even with his injuries—they're torturing him. He needs to leave that hell." I didn't really plan to eavesdrop yet Healer's tone... he'd said it with grit and anger he was keeping at bay.

It was a first for me, seeing and hearing him like that.

They were both quiet for a few moments until Healer sighed and said, "What if we deserved that loss? For not being good enough?"

"You think we're still not good enough?" Light challenged, rage and disbelief flashed his face.

"If we were, we'd have beaten them." Healer admitted, not taking his eyes off his vice-captain and friend.

It was Light's turn to sigh, "We're good enough, Heal. South is just... better."

"Then we need to be the best."

"We will."

A silent promise but an exploding determination as they held each other's gaze. Muntik ko na silang i-ship if I didn't want Healer for myself.

I'd proceeded to my class then, careful with my every step. I didn't want to disturb their moment or get caught snooping around.

A week later, hindi ako nakatiis. Pinagbake ko ng cake ang buong team for their hard work and to kind of console them as well. Hindi ko nga alam kung nakatulong 'yon, but I hope they felt my sincerity. Kuya Axel, being the bestest team captain that he is, instructed Healer na ihatid ako palabas ng gymnasium pagkabigay ko sa kanila ng cake. I still had a class then, hindi ako pwedeng magtagal. Inabot ko lang talaga ang cake.

"Thank you, T. It means a lot to us."

"Anytime, Heal."

We'd reached the huge doors of the gym and I gulped. I took a mental note to thank Kuya Axel again later for giving me this chance. From the pocket of my pants, kinuha ko 'yung four leaf clover at binigay ito kay Healer. "Ito pala... for you... I just saw it on the way here. You can keep it."

Healer beamed, flaunting his gorgeous dimples again as he carefully took the leaf from my fingers. "For good luck?"

Tumango ako, "Love, faith and hope too."

Healer gazed at the leaf fondly that made me want to squeeze his cheeks. "Thank—"

I squeezed his hands tight bago pa ako panghinaan ng loob. Agad na nanlaki ang magagandang mga mata niya, but he'd recovered quickly.

"Take it easy, okay?" I'd reminded him. He was being too hard on himself. Even Light had mentioned that Healer wasn't really being himself the past days.

Healer nodded. His face looked serene, but his ears were bright red.

"Don't push yourself too much." I went on. "You're already working so hard. Don't rush things... you guys still have time to prepare. You have time... and most importantly... rest. It'll be all worth it."

Emotions that were too many to name danced in his eyes as he stared into my eyes, my soul. He was the one holding my hands now, the leaf clover's stem safely clipped between his ring finger and pinky.

"T, may I hug you?" he asked me so softly, my knees wobbled.

I had most definitely mirrored his expression a minute ago. I'd tried to calm down but I was positive my cheeks were burning. "Go..." I cleared my throat for I definitely would choke if I hadn't. "Go ahead."

Slowly he'd pulled my hands... he pulled me into him and let go so he could wrap them around my back and waist. He'd done it so deliberately, as if he was taking his time, as if his team members weren't waiting for him.

"Thank you..." he whispered. I wasn't sure if it was my heart or his with our chests squeezing tight, but it was beating too fast, too wild and too crazy.

It had taken me a few minutes to think right, to remember who I was, and that this was not in fact, a dream. It was happening for real. Neither of us were letting go and the butterflies were wilding in my stomach. "Uh.. Heal? I have a class." And I was already ten minutes late.

"Sorry." Healer let me go and my whole body was already missing his warmth.

I hadn't slept a wink that night, even in the following days. I kept replaying how he hugged me in my mind.

If he was fond and sweet of me then... paano pa kaya siya sa girlfriend niya ngayon? The thought broke my heart again for the nth time. Why was I even doing this? Bakit ba ang hilig kong saktan ang sarili ko?