Philophobia *Ashton Irwin*

Chapter 1

Olivia's POV- 

Another sunrise another day, another rooster screaching at dusk.

How special.

I peel open my eyes, admiring the fact that little light is entering through the poorly constructed walls and roof of the all wooden shack I call home.

It costs my life basically in order for a 10 square foot shack complete with a cot, a pillow, a blanket, food, showers and my social life continuing to be non-existant.

It may not be the ideal situation for most but any work is money, and I especially know that money does not grow on trees, well at least I havent found any yet, I havent been many places anyways.

This is my life. I work full time at Dennys Diner in a rural part of California, practically in the middle of no where.

I am strickly a stocking emplyee who deals with organising stuff behind the scenes.

No interaction with customers.

I also premake sandwiches and simple refidgerated foods that are packaged and taken out as needed throughout the day, cooking has always been a passion and this is the closest an amature like me will get to a chef position.

This may not be the most ideal situation, but it has everything I need plus some and for someone who lived on the street on and off as a child, its nice to have the support of a fulltime job that supplies for me. 

I have lived and worked here since I got out of the adoption system and i'm thankfull Patrick, the owner of the diner, has been nice enough to give so much to me. 

However, I think i've had one conversation at most with anyone who works here, including him. 

I'm not the most social person these days. 

The adoption systems screw with your head, they give you the feeling of love and being cared for without any of it actually being there. 

Depression takes over so quickly living a life without love from the people you need it from, without friends having your back, its a rough world out there and I just wasnt fit to take it on. 

When I was little, I craved love, I craved the one thing I couldnt ever get. 

I was let down so many times, family after family for years on end, deprived of love and the general feeling of family. 

The world was a dark place during those 18 years, and even though i'm working my ass off and practically on the streets, its alot better having someone taking you under their wing. 

-------------------Later-----------

"But Patrick I cant"

"I know you dont like it but sometimes we have to do things we dont like Olivia!" 

Before I get a chance to argue back, he shuts the car door and the expensive sleek black paint is obsorbed in the stirred up dirt as he speeds away down the road, leaving me to man the counter. 

I huff, frustrated that this has happened even though he knows I hate the attention of being on counter duty, I hate people in all honesty. 

They are crule, and why deal with them when you dont have to. 

I return back to making the sandwiches, the same repetitive action for the past year. Bread, meat, sauce, veggies, bread then wrap and onto the next one. 

When I first started working here it was honestly hard to keep in a rythem, I was on edge all the time, my thoughts running wild and the voice inside my head whispering suggestions that I knew if I gave into I would never be able to fight away my past. 

After a year, its easy, the voice is still suggesting things every once in a while when I take a break or slow down but I can easily make a hundred sandwiches in an hour. 

I finish my pile and start taking bunches into the front to stack them in the window and I notice a car outfront. 

A junky pickup truch, similar to what I saw around the neighborhood of my last foster parents. 

I suck in a breath as the door opens and I wait to see who steps out when the door of the deli opens and a younger boy walks in. 

My eyes dart back to him as I decide that I shouldnt ignore him and the man the truck will show himself eventually. 

He stands looking at the chalk board above me for a moment before shifting his eyes onto me and stepping forward. 

He looks at me expectingly but when I dont say anything he clears his throat and begins talking.

"Um hi there, can I have..." 

My mind wanders else where as the door opens again and a middle aged man enters. 

He has a toothpick in him mouth and a scruffy beard, not the friendly kind that I wish were on his face. 

His eyes are dark and his face is angry looking, hes the man from the truck. 

The boys piviting from me and the man brings be back to focus on him and It takes me a moment to stutter out a sorry and the deli is quiet for a moment. 

All of the sudden the man from the truck strides up to the window and says in a old and scratchy voice,

"well if this chicken cant talk to you, I want one of them" And he points to a sandwich in the window

"Y-yes sir" I squeek, intimidated by the attention and quickly pack up the sandwich for him and ring him up. 

The boy steps up next "Im not scared of you" He says, looking straight into my eyes "More interested"

I stay silent, frozen in place and stunned by his flirtasious words.  

"but anyways, can I just have a chicken wrap and a coke please" He says keeping his eyes on mine

I silently get together his order and wait for him to pay,

"12 dollars please" I state, wanting him just to leave so I can return to the back and cool off before anyone else comes in. 

"And I will have that for here" Are you serious. Can you read my mind? 

"You cant" I say, trying to send the message that I want him to leave 

"Well why not the place is empty, I dont see a reason that would make me wanna leave" He says, trying to make it obvious he knows I dont want him here so hes just going to stay to annoy me. 

"Whatever" I mumble and hand him back his change. 

He quietly walked over to the flimsy thin metal table and chair and begins to open his lunch up.

I dont notice i'm watching him until we make eye contact and I watch his lips move before processing the words coming out

"You're not going to just stand there are you? Come sit with me"

Hell no. Hell to the no, never.

Expect my eyes dart around, no one is here, no one to serve, I have no excuse and my feet start to slowly walk over and I sit down on the other chair lightly, nervous to be this close with out the protecting barrier of the counter between us. 

I watch him eat for a moment, trying to settle my nerves around the new person. 

After years with little positive human contact its kind of sad that mearly sitting at a table with a boy my age is so nerve racking. 

'Im 19, I can handle it' I think to myself, continuing to try to ignore my thoughts and dismiss the voice thats trying to scream run in my ear. 

'Run, run far away' it warns

"Um hey I have to go my boss is coming back soon I should make more food" I say standing up 

"ya sure i'm done anyways" he says, throwing out his trash and walking toward the door

Another opertunity to help myself and I throw it away. 

"See you tommorow" he says over his shoulder just as the door is closing...

Great.