summer nights, meeting zotto

chapter 36, not eternal

- in case you forgot, we last left off dancing w our homegirls.-

* Say It by tory lanez started playing on the speakers *

dev, and kenzie were dancing on each other flirtatiously, it was funny as hell. then me and bella were dancing on each other, just goofing off. i saw alessio walking up to us, his hair looked pretty roughed up ngl. me being the overthinker i am, i immediately assumed he fucked lexa. but i just told myself i'd let it go, and i'd figure out what's going on later. i just want to have my fucking moment.

"y/n, how about we dance on each other?" alessio said confidently. the girls laughed, and bella pushed me towards him. he grabbed my waist, and our bodies swayed to the music touching one another. at this point i know he'd never fuck lexa, at least not while we're together. everyone formed into a circle around alessio and i and we didn't even notice. we were to busy being in love with each other. then suddenly flashing cameras were on us. everyone was taking a video of us. alessio and i looked around and noticed everyone. we kissed and i flipped everyone off, just joking around ofc.

a few hours had passed and almost everyone had left. that was one hell of a rager. alessio and i went back up to my room. we were drunk and having fun. being freaky and whatnot. after that, we passed out. the next morning was hell. alessio's phone alarm had gone off at 2pm. we were still sleeping until that traumatizing alarm came from his phone. it woke me up, and my head immediately throbbed. alessio was still sleeping. i was so pissed. "ALESSIO TURN OFF YOUR ALARM" i yelled at him. he groaned and turned it off. i was cold as hell and i opened my eyes and realized we were naked. i felt gross. i got up and my head ached so bad. last night was a blur. i took some aspirin and got in the shower. after i got out i wrapped the towel around my body. i looked in the mirror and just got sad. ever since our pregnancy scare, i got back on birth control and i just feel fucking sad. but i would never tell anyone how i feel, i don't wanna be a burden. anyways, i got dressed.

i got medicine for alessio and woke him up. he was tried and i turned on some scooby-doo, that's what we always watch together. i got up to find something to eat downstairs. i already knew it was going to be a mess. but when i walked out of my room, it was spotless. someone must've hired a cleaner or something. i saw lucas and kenzie snuggling on the couch.

4 months later aka august 17th (two months past your 1 year anniversary.)

- not much has changed, everyone still lives in the house. alessio hit 5 mil on Instagram and you were right behind him with 4.5 mil. -

we had no fucking snacks at the house. i was really hungry so i made alessio get up and come to the store with me so we could get groceries. we arrived at target in our hoodies.(let's just pretend no fans noticed us) we shopped like any other couple. i could tell there was something off about alessio, he looked guilty. i ignored it for now. after we checked out he asked if we could go get milkshakes. i said yes ofc, i love drinking milkshakes with z. except milkshakes usually end badly. i remembered all the memories from last summer. we took our groceries out to the car and loaded them up. alessio put the cart away. once he got in the jeep, i started the car. we headed over to *insert fast food place*, and ordered our shakes. we both got chocolate ones. the fast-food workers brought our shakes out to us. we sat in the car and drank our shakes for a minute or two. alessio was oddly quiet. i decided to ask him what was wrong. "z, are you okay" i spoke looking into his eyes. he looked shocked. then quickly sad. he kept quiet for a few seconds, and until he spoke out, "y/n i-i- i love you so much b-but..." he just froze looking down. a tear fell from his eye and ran down his cheek. i began to get worried. more tears kept falling from his eyes. i knew something really bad had happened. and then tears were falling from my eyes. i grabbed his hand and wiped his tears. he didn't make eye contact with me. i could tell he did something he wasn't supposed to, but i didn't want to jump to conclusions. "baby look at me. you know how much i love you. you can tell me anything, and i'd still love you." i told him with comfort, i know it's hard for him to open up. i let go of him and just held his hand until he was ready. then he finally spoke. "i fucked up bad. like really fucking bad. and i don't know what's gonna happen." tears still left his eyes. "it's okay, i'm sure we can fix it. what happened?' i said to him sincerely. "can we drive home first?" he said. i told him yes and we drove home. i didn't want to rush out of the car, so we waited in the car for a minute in the driveway until he spoke. "you remember like two weeks ago when i was sick?" he asked me, wiping away his own tears this time. my eyes were still watery from before. "yeah, you stayed home while i was at bella's parents." "well... i wasn't really sick." he said. i was confused, why would he lie to me? i didn't say anything. i just waited for him to explain himself. "i went to kendall's birthday party, a-a-and" he stuttered. and the tears start falling from my eyes. i was so scared of what he was going to say. i don't want to lose him again. not to her. "old feelings came back, and it just... it just kind of happened. and i didn't want it to. but it did. and i don't want to lose you. i turned away from him. he had sex with his fucking ex-girlfriend while i was away for a week. i gave this fucking kid my heart. and my fucking kidney. he had both. i didn't say anything. i got out of the car, and grabbed my milkshake and my keys. i didn't care about the groceries in the back of my car. he got out of the car too, he was still crying and he walked in front of me "y/n. i'm so sorry. i love you" he said to me. i was so weak he put his arms around me and hugged me tightly like it was the last. i pushed him off of me and threw my milkshake at his chest. it got all over his jacket. i walked away and as i opened the front door i said, "tell your ex you love her, not me." i walked inside and cried. i ran to my room. alessio was still outside. dev, kyrease, gio, kenz, and lucas were all in the living room and saw me walk in crying and they had heard what i said to alessio. bella said, "wait slow down y/n, what wrong?" she said pulling me back. everyone was looking at me and my bloodshot eyes. "he fucking broke me" i said and i looked at everyone's faces. i pulled my arm back from bella, and walked up the stairs to my bedroom. i cried. and i packed three suitcases full of stuff. and i heard yelling downstairs. i called my mom and asked if i could come stay with her in paris. she said i could. i took a couple hits off my dab pen to numb the pain i had.  i called an uber and once it was close i went downstairs. i carried all three suitcases down the stairs at once. i was stilll crying. once they noticed i came downstairs the group came to comfort me. alessio was in his room at the time i suppose. dev said "wait wait y/n where are you going." they all looked so sorry for me i hated it. "i-i'm gonna go stay with my mom for a little while." i said. i said a quick good-bye to everyone, execpt him. i just felt so numb. i got into my uber and drove to the airport. i put my hood up so no one would notice it's me. i was waiting for my plane to board. after 30 minutes or so i go onto the plane and headed to paris. i had a long 10 hours ahead of me. i slept for most of it. i hadn't checked my phone since i had left. my flight soon landed. and there i was in paris, heartbroken. i ubered to my moms new house. i still cant belive she married that rich guy and had another kid. and i know my mom and i haven't exactly had the best past, but i really think she has changed. i was here at her house and holy fuck it was a whole glass masion. my mom, little brother, and new dad i suppose were all waiting for me at the front door. i greeted my mom, and met my 11 month old baby brother. my mom introduced me to her new husband, marco. he was a sexy french guy. i have no idea how he ended up with my mother, but at least their happy. they gave me a house tour, and showed me my new room. after i unpacked, my mom and i caught up with eachother. i told her everything that happened with alessio. and she told me all about my baby brother finn. i played with finn for awile until it got late, i went to my new bedroom and i layed down. it was weird not sleeping in the same bed as him. i checked my phone, i first checked the time. it was 11:28 pm. alessio had texted and called me so many times. i saw that i was tagged so many times in the article. it was a photo of me at the airport with mascera running down my eyes. so many rumors had started. alessio's manager contacted me too. he basically said that me and alessio have to ficgure out to handle our breakup to the public. i read alessio's texts and oh boy. it's going to be really hard with out him.

alessio's texts pretty much was just his apologizing. i uploaded a picture of a black screen, and put white letters on it that said "i'm leaving social media for awhile, i love you all." and i posted it on my instagram becaus thats the platfrom i have the most following on.

i can't believe i gave him my fucking kidney.

i didn't sleep that night, or then next night. it was hard. really hard. i didn't know who i was without him.

——————————————————————————— word count : 1900
sorry for any spelling errors oranything like that it's 4 am and i'm sleep deprived.
sorry for all the long awaited update, i'm really struggling with school 😔.