KINGS & QUEENS - LARRY STYLINSON FANFICTION

TOO MANY THOUGHTS

Louis feels anxious when he travels to Austria for his stunt holidays with Harry. Before their dispute, he was really looking forward to it but now it doesn't feel as exciting as it used to. After their last chat, Louis couldn't relax at all although he was with his family. Technically, he got distracted a lot but it never worked out. Harry was on his mind all the time, Harry and the fact that their next encounter wouldn't be as joyful and happy and exciting as the ones before.

Louis arrives first at the cosy hotel room. This room has nothing to do with the luxury hotels he usually stays at with One Direction. The village is a typical ski hotspot but still, the hotels and houses aren't too huge what underlines the atmosphere of the region. Everything around him is covered in a thick, fluffy layer of snow. The houses are all built in the traditional style and also the room fits the surroundings perfectly. Almost everything is made of wood and the ceilings aren't high what gives the room an extraordinary, comfortable and cosy look. This could be such a lovely place if there wasn't this problem waiting to be solved.

After unpacking his bags, Louis lays down on his bed and looks out of the window. The landscape looks so beautiful and so calm at the same time. Winter time is Louis' favourite weather. He loves snow so much. He's not into skiing that much. He prefers taking long walks in the snow, especially when the weather is really cold and it's a little windy. To hear the crunching snow underneath his shoes is such a wonderful sound and breathing in the clean, fresh air always feels like a tiny holiday for his lungs. But as much as Louis is happy about the room and the snow outside, he can't relax at all. It's not the stunting that bothers him anymore but how Harry will react when they will meet each other again. Louis doesn't know when Harry will arrive since they haven't messaged anymore. To distract himself he decides to walk through the village. The fresh and cold air hits his cheeks as he's walking along the snowy streets until he reaches the end of the village. On his way back to the hotel, Louis wishes the queasy feeling in his stomach would to go away. He wants to be happy because of Harry but what if this will never happen again? If Harry played Louis, the memories would be the only thing he could keep in his heart but Louis doesn't want that. He can't even imagine losing Harry this way. "But you did that to Matt," his inner voice tells him, "you lied to him and betrayed him. You played him, too. If that happened to you, it would only be fair."

"Shut the fuck up," Louis mumbles quietly to silence his inner voice. In his room, there's still no sign of Harry and Louis grows impatient. He paces around for a while, then he thinks about having lunch on his own but then he decides to wait. Is he even hungry? Probably not. All Louis wants is to talk to Harry and that's it. He wants to clarify what is or what's not between them. Louis takes out the stunt plan Sophie has printed out for him. After the stunts are done, they are allowed to spend the rest of the time however they want. Louis wonders if Harry would like to spend his free time with him after what happened. The plan says that there's one stunt in the morning before lunchtime where they have to ski, then they should just walk around the village and have lunch at a certain place. The next day they have time off until the afternoon. After that they have to ski again and stay in one of the most known party cabins up in the mountains that's next to the lift station. On the third day, they will leave again. Since their stunts have been successful for a long time, Sia spontaneous shortened the holiday from four to two and a half days. The paparazzi are already instructed and also Rob and Ben are going to be near Harry and Louis during the stunts but practically hidden to make the whole thing appear more "real". Sia wanted them only to appear whenever Louis and Harry would be in danger but still have an eye on them. Louis has already talked to Rob and Ben because he thought this was rude but Rob assured Louis they would also enjoy their stay and Louis shouldn't make up his mind about them being bored or whatever.

Louis suddenly startles as he hears the door being opened. He can see Harry taking off his beanie, shaking his head to get his curls into place. "Hey," Harry greets Louis as he walks into the living room, pulling his suitcase after him toward the bedroom. His voice is low, his eyes don't sparkle as they usually do.

"Hey," Louis answers, feeling the lump in his throat getting bigger. Harry puts his suitcase into the bedroom where he unpacks some things as Louis can hear from where he's seated. He doesn't know what to do next. Should he go there and talk to Harry or should he wait until he will start a conversation? Louis decides to stay where he is and let Harry do whatever he feels like doing. He wouldn't know what to say anyways. On one hand, it kind of hurts him that he can't hug Harry or give him a kiss but on the other hand, he doesn't feel like it right now. Meeting Harry again reminded Louis of what he witnessed when he heard him talking to that woman at the hotel so it's hard for him to imagine what the next hours will be like, let alone the next days.

When Harry walks out of the bedroom, he has changed into his cosy clothes Louis loves so much on him. He flops down on one of the armchairs that surround the dark green sofa. They sit like that in silence for a while and it's not comfortable silence, for sure. "Don't you have anything to say to me or will it be just like that all the time?" Harry suddenly breaks the silence.

"Don't you think I could ask you the same?" Louis snaps. He knows he shouldn't talk to Harry like that but his mood doesn't allow him to be any friendlier. Harry's tone hurts Louis. The way he's looking at him too and the feeling inside of him is definitely not anger which would feel a little better, probably.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why didn't you tell me that you have a girlfriend or that you're married?" Louis can feel his disappointment and the anger mixing in his guts and the result is a sting that hits directly into his heart. He's close to tears just out of the blue and this unfamiliar feeling of overwhelming sadness is nearly killing him. Louis blinks a tear away quickly.

Harry looks at him with a frown, clearly caught by surprise. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, please stop fooling me, Harry. First you treated me as if you liked me, you kissed me and stuff and then you cheated on me while I was waiting for you? Seriously? And you want to tell me that you don't know what I'm talking about? Do you think I'm an idiot?" Louis lets out a sarcastic laugh. "I bet you were a fantastic actor in that movie of yours because the game you played with me has been perfectly staged so far!"

"First of all, cheating is only possible when two people are in a relationship." Harry looks serious now, too serious and reserved and Louis' heart drops. The wrinkle that's always visible between his eyebrows grows even more prominent. "Secondly, I still don't know what you are talking about and I can't understand why you're attacking me that way. Third, just because I played a role in a movie, it doesn't mean I'm acting in real life – for whatever reason you accuse me of that."

"You're so cruel," Louis almost whispers as he feels tears pooling in his eyes again. He can't look Harry in the eyes anymore. He can't stand this cold, stern look Harry gives him. The tone in his voice has shifted to a sound that hurts Louis deep inside. He has never felt such a level of sadness and disgust at the same time, ever. "Sorry but . . . I can't." Louis gets up from the sofa, walks into the bedroom and closes the door behind him. He lays down on his side of the bed and stares out of the window. The landscape is amazingly beautiful but what is it worth when your feelings are a fucking mess and you're the saddest person in the world? Louis grabs a decorative pillow and presses it against his chest as he starts crying without even wanting it. Harry's words hurt him so much. What was Louis thinking? That this was the beginning of a serious relationship? How wrong he was. Obviously, Louis was right. Harry was just playing with him.

After a while, Louis can hear the entrance door click shut. He stays in his spot and listens but there's no other sound to be heard. The fact that Harry has left doesn't really help although Louis needed to get away from him for a while. He feels awful. If he's honest to himself, he wants Harry to come back and talk to him. He wants Harry to hug him, to kiss him, to tell him everything will be alright. Louis hates feeling this way so much but also, he was and he still is so fucking angry.