I'm Sorry - Tsukkiyama

Chapter 5

Tsukishima's POV

He left me. He's gone. Like actually gone. How did I not see this coming? I was so mean to him. I was such a dick to him. He has every right to want to not hang out with me. Which is fine, I guess. But

Why does it hurt so bad?

My heart is aching, like I've been shot through the heart. Why the hell does my heart hurt so much? Why is this happening?

I can't stop the tears rolling down my face. I can't breathe. I feel lost and hurt...and...empty.

Where did I go wrong?

Yamaguchi's POV

My alarm started to go off for morning practice. I sluggishly turn it off and lay in my bed. I feel horrible. But I have to get up. For myself. And not anyone else.

I get up and do my morning routine and walk down the stairs to see my mom sitting at the table with breakfast ready.

"Good morning Tadashi,"

"Morning mom," I reply as I sit down at the table and grab a piece of toast and some eggs. I start eating but my mom isn't saying anything. When I look up, I see her staring at me.

"Mom?" I question her. Why is she staring at me? Did she hear my conversation with Tsukishima last night?

"Tadashi, what's going on between you and Tsukishima? I thought you two were best friends?" she questioned me with soft eyes. I'm not sure if I should tell her. I know she's my mom but this isn't that big of a deal. I don't have to be friends with Tsukishima if I don't want to. My heart is screaming the opposite. But that doesn't matter. He treated me like shit anyway. So my heart can just shut it.

"Nothing important mom. I just realized I'm worth more than I thought," I smiled at her and finished my breakfast. My mom didn't look stunned or surprised at all. She just simply smiled at me and nodded her head.

"Ok mom I'm going to practice now, love you!" I shout from the door as I'm putting on my shoes. I walk outside and it's grey. It's kinda sad, but I like it. I feel like the weather is matching my emotions right now. Ugh dammit. I'm not supposed to be sad at all. I'm supposed to be happy.

But it just hurts so fucking much.

Tsukishima's POV

I lay in bed as my alarm went off. I don't have the energy to turn it off. I lay staring at the ceiling, completely lost in my thoughts.

Why did everything have to change? I thought everything was perfect. I mean yeah Yams got on my nerves sometimes just like everyone else. But he got my nerves a bit less than others. I liked having him around kind of. But I guess I fucked that up. Ha, it's funny. I always wanted him to leave me alone and now that he finally has I feel like shit. Fucking hilarious.

"Kei will you please just shut your damn alarm off? It's fucking annoying!" Akiteru yelled as he busted into my room, without knocking like he always does, usually that would piss me off but this morning, I don't have the energy. I turn my head towards the door and look at him for a brief second before turning away from him.

"Leave me alone," I mutter to him. I don't hear anything, so I assume he left without closing my door. But I hear my alarm stop and I feel my bed sink. Akiteru sits down on my bed and doesn't say anything at all. I can't even care that he's here invading my space.

"Kei," he starts and takes a pause. "What happened? Are you ok?" Those words make me break down. I start sobbing into my pillow. No, I am not ok. And I don't even know what the fuck happened. I lost the most important person in my life and it hurts so damn much. I don't know what to do.

I feel Akiteru get up and lay down beside me. He wraps his arms around me.

"Kei, you don't have to tell me what happened if you don't want to." He says softly. I've never heard him speak so softly to me.

I just lay there, with my brother hugging me, and cry.

10 minutes later

After my sobs turn to hiccups, Akiteru sits up and tells me to sit up with him. I sit up slowly, my head is pounding from crying so much. We sit there in a comfortable silence. A few minutes later, I decided to break the silence.

"I lost Yams." I whisper. He doesn't say anything. He just nods his head. Signaling me to keep going. I tell him everything. From the morning Yams started to ignore me to the moment he yelled at me last night. I voice cracked a little while I was telling him everything that happened. He just sat there, nodding his head, listening to me. After I'm done telling him everything, we just sit there in another comfortable silence.

"You need to make this right Kei. You need to figure out what you said and deeply apologize for it. And don't expect him to accept your apology right away. For this one, you're gonna have to earn his trust back," I just nod my head at his advice and get up to go to practice. Hes right. I have to make this right.

"And Kei, you know why this hurts so bad?" I stay still. I'm scared about what he wants to say next and I have a feeling I know what that is.

"You love him Kei,"

To be continued

(A/N) Thank you so much for reading! Sorry for the long wait! I had to take the SAT today >_< Thank you so much for your patience! How was this chapter? Let me know! Again thank you so much for reading! Until the next chapter! <3