Radio GaGa

Chapter 13 : Sinners and Sorrows

Angel was growing more and more irritable as the day went on since it seemed completely random when or if something he tried to eat or drink would trigger a mad dash to the bathroom, by dinner time Angel was snacking on crackers and drinking fruit juices as he stared at the fridge and pantry with a hateful look. Angel had never had issue with foods before this, steak tartare, sushi, calamari, Angel started listing foods in his head and had to stop as just thinking of them nearly made him ill. Charlie looked at Angel and in a quiet voice talked to Vaggie as they both felt bad seeing Angel in this state, Husk was taking his chance to take pokes at Angel and Angel would just sneer or give a 'fuck you' to Husk. Husk found little fun in the near unresponsive Angel, "Damn, must've been Al that knocked ya up. No one else is that gloomy." Husk said as he looked down at his meal, Only to end up knocked out in Niffty's lap as Angel had cold-cocked him with a single hit as he stood up and left going to his room.

Angel laid in his unmade bed as he pulled out a small book from his nightstand, flipping past the first few pages Angel started trying to write about his feelings and what he was thinking but the truth was there was only one thing on Angel's mind. Angel used his pencil and sketched the red deer on the page lightly at first and then going over it again and again until looking at it started to make his heart ache, the words and actions Angel would take when he next saw Alastor kept running through is head. Forgive him? Although it hurt to hear, Alastor was right that if Angel freelanced he would have quite a bit of money. The part that hurt the most though was that it came from Alastor and he was the reason Angel hesitated about freelancing, Angel didn't want Alastor to think that he was 'dirty'.

Angel realized only then that it was Him that was starting to think that Sex work while in love with someone was 'dirty', Angel had been in Hell for more than 70 years and he'd signed that contract with Val in the first year here and for a few years it wasn't bad but then the shine wore away. Valentino crushed whatever pride, hope, independence, and self worth Angel had in all that time. Angel flipped to the next page of the book and started writing everything since he was grabbed by Valentino's thugs, Angel kept writing hoping that putting on the pages would stop him from going over and over it in his head. A knock came on Angel's door, "Come in!" Angel said as he wrote feeling slightly better as he did, Niffty stepped inside and softly smiled "Hey Angel." Angel looked over and gave a small sigh, "Hey Baby, 'bout the punch, Husk just hit my button." Niffty shook her head 'No', "No need, Husk was wrong there and words don't always work with him."

"So, what's up??" Angel looked at Niffty. "I've cleaned up a lot with Al. People puking for all kinds of reasons but I've never seen anyone getting sick like you've been and I know poison and food poisoning." Niffty walked over to Angel, "I know your hurt and angry about Val screwing with your body and you should be!! Now, something isn't right or like usual for you. Charlie can get a nurse to check you out." Angel stopped writing and huffed as he rolled over while closing the book, Angel reached over to his nightstand as he sat up and dug through the drawer pulling out a piece of paper. Then stood up walked over to his dresser, opening a few drawers and then grabbing an envelope he put the paper inside closed it up, writing 'Alastor' on the front and bit at his thumb making it bleed, the drops of blood falling on the envelope as Angel muttered words quietly and the blood formed a seal on the back.

"Put this somewhere Al can find it and I'll go to the stupid nurse, telling ya though, I just got Hell Flu or something." Angel held out the envelope to Niffty and she nodded with a big smile as she grabbed the envelope and disappeared like a blur of pink, Angel had been writing that letter for a month trying to find a way to talk and say what he was feeling towards Alastor. Last night Angel finished the letter but not like he had hoped to, Angel had hoped for it to build something between them but after everything that had happened no matter how Angel tried to say it the end always felt like he was saying goodbye. Angel knew how Alastor would respond after their last meeting, and Angel would no longer be the cause of Alastor's pain or weakness.