Reflection | PJM

32| say it

You burst through the door of the condo and bolt to the bathroom, passing Jimin in the living room.

Your vision is blurred from the tears and your head is aching from the mental strain.

When you reach the sink to wash your face, Jimin is already behind you. "Y/N, what happened?"

You splash cold water on your face but can't stop the sobbing. He turns the water off and pulls you to his chest, soaking his t-shirt with tears and water.

You just had sex with someone else. You feel horrible. "I need to shower," you say, pushing him out.

Jimin stands at the door when you shut it in his face. You crouch on the floor and let out one of those low screams when the crying feels like it's too much.

Jimin knocks on the door and reopens it, immediately lifting you up and running the shower water. He strips you and himself of clothing and leads you under the stream.

Then he just holds you while you sob onto his chest. The water hitting your back feels like bits of the world crashing down on you.

You really did love Namjoon. He was your first love. Letting go is hard, even when it's what needs to be done.

Exhaustion finally hits you like a ton of bricks, and you separate yourself from Jimin. He looks at you fondly, his now pruny fingers rubbing your swollen cheeks.

"My ex came back," you choke out. Jimin's expression doesn't lose any kindness. "And I had sex with him."

You wait for a reaction but Jimin just continues to look into your eyes and stroke your face.

You start to ramble in typical fashion whenever you feel overwhelmed. "Because I thought it would make things feel normal again. I did promise him I'd wait for him to come back. I wanted to keep my word. But it didn't feel right. I kept thinking about...you."

You sob loudly now, your cries echoing in the shower stall. Your body shakes as you whine and hyperventilate, and Jimin supports your weight.

He smooths your wet hair back and kisses your forehead. You look into his brown eyes and bite your lip hard to overcome your emotional pain with physical.

Simultaneously, you say to each other, "I love you."

On impulse, you kiss him, pushing him onto the wall of the shower. He feels you along the length of your back and grips your hair.

You break the kiss and look at him sincerely. "Am i tripping or did you say it back?"

He grins. "We said it at the same time. I love you."

You link your lips again and put as much as passion as you can into the kiss.

Why didn't you tell him sooner?

After exchanging several more kisses, you both wash your bodies and dry off.

You lay in bed together naked. You rest your head on his shoulder while he plays in your damp hair.

"I tried not to love you," you quietly say.

"Why?"

"I thought you were out of my league," you concede.

He chuckles. "You are me. I am you."

"What do you mean?"

"We have so much in common. Our struggles, our dreams, our passions." He stops playing in your hair as he digs through his mind for more words. "And we were both afraid to say our true feelings."

"What did you have to be afraid of?" you ask curiously.

"I thought you'd choose your ex. I didn't want to admit my feelings and get rejected."

You laugh thoughtlessly. "I should've known. The way we've made love so many times before. The little things you'd do that made me feel special. The big things you'd do that made me feel seen."

He rests his lips on your head. "Now that the cat is out the bag, you're mine."

You display a joyous smile and cuddle him. "And you're mine. Boyfriend," you coo. "We took a long road to get here."

"Love is not a fantastical event," he quotes.

You freeze, trying to remember where you've heard that. "Are you quoting something?"

He nods. "Is it a famous quote? I found it on a sticky note in a novel I'm reading."

You sit up and rest your weight on your elbow. "Where'd you find the book?"

"In a newspaper stand."

Shocked, you begin to laugh and throw a pillow at him. He catches it and giggles. "What?"

"I wrote those notes. That was my book."

His eyes widen. "What a coincidence. How'd it end up in a newspaper stand?"

You explain your motives to him and he listens attentively, his eyes shining with interest. "Your intentions are so pure," he says.

Shy, you hit him with another pillow. He fights back and you two play until the giggles turn to moans.

Tonight's lovemaking was different. You felt entirely naked with him. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.

You allowed your body to feel things fully and reciprocate the energy completely. You whispered "I love you" into his ear while you orgasmed back to back.