I wish I could go back

Chapter 11

Toko's POV

Guilt was slowly tearing me apart as I thought about what I had said to Komaru.

Ughhhh why can't this feeling of guilt go away??

Maybe I should talk to Byakuya about it...

Oh wait he hates me.

Who cares I'm going to see him anyway.

I looked up in the mirror and at my hair.

It's down...just as Komaru likes it...

I felt my hands entangle themselves in my hair. I slowly started to braid it. Feeling a shiver grow down my spine.
It's for the best. I'm meant for Byakuya.

I ran out of my house, hoping to not wake up my mother.

I ran over to Byakuya's house. I knew that he would never let me in if I knocked, so I had to either climb into his window, praying it was unlocked or sneak in through the back.

I chose the first option.

I'm quite used to climbing into windows since I would have too when my mom was drunk but not too drunk that she would pass out. She tended to lock me in the bathroom or pull my hair and throw me against the wall.

I tried to not think of those things as I started to climb up.

Why is Byakuya's house so goddamn big?!

Ok...don't sweat it Toko you've done this many times before.

I had basically memoried which room was Byakuya's so I climbed up the rocky walls of his house up to his window.

I went over and peeked into his window.

I gasped at what I saw. Almost throwing up.

Byakuya and Makoto were making out.

Without thinking I dropped down and fell into the bushes below.

I felt something crack and I winced in pain.

Shit
Shit
Shit!

I felt tears of anger and sadness start to build up in my eyes. I got up and yelped in pain. I tried to run but I couldn't.

I ended up limping the rest of the way home.

I felt angry.
Sad
Frustrated

But also...
Relieved.

I didn't know why but I felt relieved.

Why am I feeling relieved the man I love just got taken away from me!

You belong to Komaru.

Huh?! What the fuck was that voice

Your inner conscious.

Nope I don't have one of those.

I blocked out my thoughts and walked back into my house. My mother, as usual was passed out on the couch. A bottle of beer in her hand.

I sighed and limped up the stairs to my room.

I definetly broke my leg haven't I.

I lay in my bed. Not bothering to check for further injuries or have a shower.

I just wanted rest.