I just want u for my own. More than u could ever know
Open relationships. They are usually made because of 2 people wanting it. Not in this case. Not in my relationship. For those who are confused.
An open relationship is simply when u are in relationship with someone but u are allowes to be with someone else as well.
For example, im in an open relationship with billie eilish. Shes allowed to have other girls for sex because thats what an open relationship is about.
I am allowed to, but I have never done it and im not planning on it either. To be honest i dont want to have an open relationship. I only went along because i didnt wanna loose billie. It really hurts everytime i see another girl leave our house, but i know i cant do anything about it, because that are literally the terms i agreed on.
The reason billie wanted an open relationship is because i "wasnt enough".
I still havent figured out what she meant by that, but anyhow...
-
"Billie are you home?"
I yelled as i opened the door to the house
I didnt get her answer, i just heard moans from another girl in our bedroom.
It hurts, so fucking bad.
I know its my fault agreeing to this but i really dont want to loose billie
I sat on the couch and waited for them to finish
Some tears tried to escape but i didnt let them.
I agreed to this.
After about 30 minutes later i heard footsteps and soon i saw billie and that girl coming down.
Her hair is messy and billie followed her to the door
And said goodbye to her. I just stared at them but as billie came back she saw me.
"Hey, when did u get home?"
She asked and wanted to hug me but i pushed her off
"A while ago, anyways im gonna go make dinner, you take a shower"
I said kinda emotionless as i went to the kitchen.
She didnt say anything else, she just sighted and went to the bathroom.
I think she know i dont like it. But can u blame me?
I started with the food and waited for her to come back downstairs.
And after just 20 i heard footsteps on the stairs again
"Wow that was fast"
I said kind, not being jelous anymore.
"Yeah, im not going to eat home today"
She said as she walked by me not even looking at me
"Wait what?"
I confused walked behind her as she putted her shoes on
"Im going to go out with amanda"
She grabbed her jacket and fixed her hair
"Do you have to? Like today?"
"Yeah, she just asked me to hang out"
"What if i wanna hang out with you"
I said as she stopped and looked at me
"Come on baby, you will always be my favorite"
She came and hugged me. I hugged her back a little as she shorty after pulled away.
"See ya later"
She said, kissed my cheek and went out.
-HOURS LATER-
For hours i jave just been sitting on a sofa, waiting for billie to return.
I decided i will tell her how i feel about this.
In the middle of my thoughts i heard the door open and billie came in.
I kept sitting on the sofa waiting for her to show up.
"Billie"
I said as he walked in the room
"What? im exhausted"
She said with a groan. I patted the seat next to me as she confusely sat down.
" i have to talk with u about something"
I began as she stayed quite
"This kind off relationship isnt working for me anymore. I want u for myself"
I said and looked at her. She didnt look at me and just stared straight for few seconds.
"Thats not working for me. I cant only have u because u arent enough to make me feel good"
She said cold as tears begin to burn behind my eyes
"Why? Why am i not good enough for u?"
I said as tears start to drip down my face.
"This is exactly why. I cant have a girl that cries over smallest things"
SHe yelled and stood up
"Fine" i whispered
"What?"she asked confused because i agreed so fast
"Fine, we will continue to be in an open relationship"
I whisper and she nodded
"Good"
Was the only thing she said before going upstairs
Little does she know whats on my mind
Little does she know how im gonna break her heart
A few days have past since our fight and things kept being weird between us
SHes taking a new girl home every night and me?
Im not doing anything. Im just sitting in living room trying to get my mind off of it by doing random stuff
Another girl just left the house as i hear billie coming downstairs.
"Wanna watch a movie?"
She asked as she got into the living room
I closed the book i was reading and smiled at her
"Nope. Im going out"
I stood up and walked past her
"Wait, where?"
She followed me to the front door
"Adam"
I said with my back facing her
"Adam? Its pretty late? What are you going to do with him?"
She asked all those question as the giggle left my mouth
"I think u know what im gonna do with him"
I said taking my shoes on and grabbing a jacket
"You have me for that"
She said as she walked closer to me untill she was really close. Only thing i did was put my hand on her chest and pushed her back
"You're not enough"
I said cold and walked out, leaving her speechless
I've never slept woth another person in this relationship, but billie has, so why wouldnt i?
