Warning: Lots of mature content and strong language ahead. Read at your own risk. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
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Love is a messy, painful ordeal. Amelia Harold knew this all too well.
After all, she did fall in love...
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She smiled, a sad, helpless little smile.
"My mom was... she is an alcoholic. My entire childhood, I've seen her wasted and passed out on the couch."
"Did she hurt you?" he asked, interrupting her. It felt important to ask that.
"No. She wasn't abusive. At least not physically. But she loved to scare us. She would throw things around, slammed doors as hard as she possibly could, yelled until the neighbors called the police. And then I would have to pretend everything was okay because she had told me what happened to kids who went into foster care. I believed her. Mostly because I was scared for my siblings. Lily had made me believe that foster care would take Dani and Jo away from me. I couldn't let that happen."
She laughed again, shaking her head.
"She was so fucked up."
"I'm sorry," he said.
She ignored him.
"How did you manage?"
She looked at him, eyes burning and a strange look on her face. A look he couldn't decipher. He held his breath. It felt important he didn't move as he allowed her to search his face.
"I worked. I found a job as soon as I was able to. Joanna's father used to send money. Mine did sometimes too. I survived my mother. I made sure my siblings did too but I ruined their lives in the process. Just like Lily had ruined mine. I wasn't able to protect them, especially Dani, like I wanted to. I should have considered foster care. Maybe it would have made things better for everyone. But I was too protective. I was too scared."
"It wasn't your fault. You were so young," he said.
His heart ripped with each of her words, her sorrow so suffocating, so raw even after all this time.
She inhaled shakily, staring in the distance, tears shining in the corner of her eyes. She blinked and a single drop rolled down and she wiped it off immediately before continuing.
"I promised myself I would never ruin my life like Lily had. Never dared to touch any sort of drugs or alcohol. Made no friends because that was a distraction I couldn't afford," she sighed.
"We grew up and we moved out. Everything was better. At least as better as it could get when you've had such a fucked up childhood."
"But then she called us a few weeks ago. Sounded so much better. She promised, fuck why did I believe any of her promises? She promised she wouldn't mess this up. I so desperately wanted to believe her so I went there. Everything seemed okay. Good even. I couldn't believe it but I allowed myself to hope. But then her boyfriend showed up, with that poison in hand, wrapped in pretty paper. Lily took it from him, so excited, like it was the thing she was waiting for so long. Not us. I don't know what that dinner was but it definitely wasn't Lily wanting to meet us. She was still where we had left her."
