His world. [HIATUS]

8

I sit In Hisoka's living room; My hands in my lap and my head down looking at my feet.

Illumi sit's next to me with his arm around my shoulders and Hisoka showers upstairs. Hisoka was able to convince me to spend the night. I didn't really have a say. My mind transgresses. Should I be more appreciative? He did give me a bed to sleep on and got me food, and he hangs out with me to an extent.

Illumi speaks to me, "I would love to help train you, I feel like you good do an amazing job making more advancements to your conjuration and manipulation." He fiddles with a few pins. I would really consider this. Father wouldn't necessarily object to this only because if there is anyone who can train me as good as father himself; it's the Zoldyck's.

"I would allow you to help me train, I must run it by father first." I say and he nods slowly.

"Oh! just wonderful!" He cheers happily, clasping his hands together and slightly grinning. I give him a little beam of my smile and he stands, "Let me know when your dearest father allows training, If I'm not mistaken, me and yourself could train in Heaven's arena." He nudges me.

In truth; I've always wanted to challenge someone there. I have the skillset to do so.

"I will get going, how about I come by in the morning?" Illumi says, standing and picking up a jacket.

I nod and Illumi slowly walks towards the foyer.

I begin to get nervous again, I sit at the edge of my seat, the agonizing feeling of disappointing Hisoka.

I've had similar feelings with father. He would go weeks with ignoring me if I upset him. He would get mad at mother for giving me a place at the dinner table when he was mad. He would refuse to take me on family trips and refuse to help train me. I used to cry and cry and beg on my knees for him to give me any recognition I'm even alive.

Hisoka ignored me the whole way home, not like I was going to attempt to talk to him. The painful silence hours earlier before we arrived to his home with Illumi were quite honestly- pitiful.

I know what he's doing. He's trying to break me down; just like father did. Right to the point where I was under father constantly making sure he doesn't get upset with me. I'm strong enough to reject this- he just wants to corrupt me, clearly.

I begin to walk upstairs to get ready to shower and Hisoka is closing his shades in his bedroom. He quickly lays his eyes onto mine.

"I can tell you're upset with me." He states. I shake my head and sit on the edge of the bed. He walks over to me and crouches down to match my height. "I'm sorry, you just made me feel like I wasn't good enough." He smiles, tilting his head a tad to the left. I nod and continue to look down.

"Fuck you Hisoka!" I cry out, I completely explode in his face and he is taken aback. His eyebrows rise and he stands, crossing his arms. "You're just a dirty manipulator! Let me go! stop trying to interlope me into your life!" I scream in his face, "I'm not as weak as you think I am! So fuck you!" I shriek.

He taps his foot and stands there looking disgustingly conceited. I continue to shout nonsense in his face, for I don't even know how long. See, I told him I was strong.

I really don't know how it happened, but I was now crying into his chest while he sat on the bed, embracing my upper-half as my knees were on the ground and my head was on his chest. I just kept crying. Years of pent up anger from my father being neglectful and sending me for a whirlwind within my own mind when it came to his lack of emotion and love for me all my life. He held my head and stroked my hair slowly.

"Dear, please calm down." Hisoka begs, I slowly start to regain my breath. My eyes burned and my chest felt like someone took my insides and tied them in an inevitable, inescapable knot. I pick up my head and he tugs on my arm to sit on the bed along with him. Should I go home? Do I tell mother? She can help me.

"I'm sorry for making you sad. I can get you something if you'd like?" He whispers. I nod and he stands and opens up the blankets for me to lie down. My head throbs and my hands shake.

"Please don't b-be mad at me." I voice. He sighs.

"You wouldn't feel like this if you just trusted me and stopped making me feel you don't care." He opens the door and closes it behind him. I sit up and take off my jeans and shirt, shuffling over to my bag and grabbing one of my father's shirts and slipping it on. I know I sound crazy. My mind was blank and I just sat on the bed for I don't even know how long before Hisoka came in with a mug. He hands it to me and turns on his television before taking a seat next to me.

"I see you dont have pants on?" My death glare slices right into his body. If looks could kill, he wouldn't even be alive long enough to know I was looking at him.

"Do you think..." I take out some of my blades, "now is the time to sexually objectify me?" I start to raise my voice. "Do you Hisoka?!" I yell.

He simply shakes his head and looks forward. I huff and put away my blades, I was so prepared to fling them into his eyes. "I was just going to compliment you..." He mumbles.

"I'm just going to go home." I insinuate.

"No." Hisoka stands quickly and comes over to me. His playing cards in one hand and his eyes lower. He put the cards away and grabs my hips. So cold.

I look up into his eyes and he looks deep onto mine. the beautiful yellow orbs that could send anyone into orbit. I felt weird, the feeling in Hisoka's room reeked of his intense blood lust, I could almost see the individual pores drip. His nen extending and shutting off the light by the door. The TV brightened the floor and some of the bed. He leans down, with his hand resting around my throat and kisses me carefully and I kiss back.

He had a way with making me feel like he could solve all my problems. Even though he was the cause of all of them lately. How mad would mother and father be at me right now? I know I'm stupid. I also know I need to get out of this little affiliation. The kiss only intensifies. He then pulls away and turns around to get into bed.

"Come lay down." He mutters. I listen to him and lay under the covers next to him. He turns to face the windows and I face the other way. I could leave.

I wait until he falls asleep and lay away for hours. I peer at the clock and see 2:30am. I slowly get out of bed and walk over to my bag. I grab it and without zipping it I turn on my zetzu and open the door. People had no idea how dangerous Hisoka actually was. I knew he had the capability to sense others even when their zetzu is activated.

Like a fucking dog.

I scurry down the stairs and manage to leave the apartment. I sprint down the hallway as fast as I can. Not being careful enough and bumping into a few short kids with big hair.

   I go down the elevator and when I reach the bottom floor I look both ways before seeing if he was camping out and watching me. When the coast is clear I run for the hills.

   I make it home safely and run into my house, locking the doors, alerting the staff down at the front and back gates that it was only me coming home. I run to my room and jump on my bed. My anxiety suffocates my chest and I quickly stand, shut off all my lights, make sure I lock my windows and closing my blinds. I lock my bedroom door. I lay in my bed and just contemplate texting or calling mother. Maybe I could get out of town fast enough to escape Hisoka.

   I finally get some sleep.