Is death the only exit?

Secret

Two months later, Hayden and I had become friends. I mean, I think. We talked, joked, laughed, and helped each other. Math had quickly become one of my favorite subjects. It felt like we had known each other for years already, although it had only been a few weeks. But there was this quiet strange feeling with him, as if our relationship was not exactly the same as the one I had with my other friends. It just felt... different. Anyway, I introduced him to Lily, Grace and Charly and they greeted him very nicely, so I guessed we were now five people in this joyful group.

The five of us were waiting in front of the school building before the start of classes one day, when I heard the start of a conversation between two people standing next to us. They were talking about it. The Virus. A first person had been diagnosed in Europe. The Virus was now out of its original country. Even though I tried to convince myself it was no big deal, everything would soon be under control, I had to admit it started to scare me a little bit.

I turned to the group, and glanced at Hayden, who was apparently already looking at me, but turned away as soon as my eyes met his. I stared at him trying to understand and thinking his behaviour was weird (okay and also because I thought he was really, really cute, but was way to shy to admit it). When I turned my head again, I realized Lily was looking at me, and her face suddenly lit up, a huge smile appearing on her lips. Seeing my confusion about her sudden joy, she took my arm, said goodbye to the others, and walked really fast to the english class, which we had in common. In front of the door, waiting fo the teacher, she quietly said, so that no one else but me could hear her :

"I think you have things to tell me, right?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, not sure what she had in mind

"Don't act like you don't know!" she said, the same smile as before reappearing again on her face.

"But I don't..."

"Hayden..."

"What about him?"

"Oh Noah, don't act like I'm stupid, I saw the way you were looking at him!"

I felt my face getting red, and did not even try to deny. She knew me too well to know everything I had in mind even before I would say anything. Seeing I was not going to answer, she added :

"Oh my god! I knew it! Aaaaaaaah! And I shipped you since the beginning but I thought it could never happen! Oh my god! I have hope again!" she sounded so excited and I did not even understand why.

"Okay now I have to make up a plan to get you guys together! Oh my gosh, this is gonna be so fun!"

"Lily, you need to calm down. I bet he doesn't feel the same way anyways..."

"Are you kidding me?" she almost yelled and I had to give her a very mean look so she would keep quiet but she kept going :

"He looks at you literally all the time, even in class, and you never see him!"

The teacher arrived at this moment and before we entered the classroom, I told her :

"Try to keep it a secret okay? I don't want anyone else knowing anything about my feelings."

Lily whispered in my ear :

"Okay, but we're gonna make this work. Trust me."