In a World Without You... A Soulmate AU

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When you find your soulmate, you're supposed to be happy forever. Supposed to feel loved and appreciated, finally feel like your whole life makes sense.

Until that one time, it just isn't...

In my world, we have ranks. Alpha, Beta, and Omega. I just happen to be the lowest, an Omega. I also just happen to be a part of a rare phenomenon where I have more than 2 mates, I have six, but we aren't together. The reason for that, they forgot to include me, just once, and it broke me too hard. I left them with a heavy heart, and the unborn children I hadn't told them about yet.

These years away from them have been the hardest of my life. It has taken everything in me to keep myself going for my kids, especially because they don't have their other parents around.

My children won't ever know what it's like to be loved by their alpha and beta fathers, and their other omega parent as well. They won't know what it's like to have siblings, or any other parent to hold them and hug them when they feel sad or scared.

As for me, my mates' memories are probably all gone by now. The only reason mine aren't is because of my kids, they kept them alive because they carry their dna as well, which is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I get to remember the love and all the amazing times we had together. A curse because it still physically hurts to be away from them. Whenever it's time for my heat cycle, it's painful, difficult, and takes too long to finish, so I take suppressants. As much as I hate to do that to myself, it's the only way to keep my body from being desperate for my mates. It's been too long since we've last been together, so now, they'd have no idea who I was anymore. It just makes sense to keep away from them, regardless of the fact that we have children together.

I make sure I keep myself far enough away so we don't accidentally run into each other. It doesn't stop me from driving past the house sometimes, or stopping into the same restaurant where most of us met. Sometimes, I notice them look up as if they can still feel me, but I doubt that's what is actually happening with them, they don't remember me.

Their new omega, the reason they forgot me, is pregnant with their first baby. I've seen them around the hospital where I work. It's hard to watch how attentive they are to him, when they weren't there to do any of that for me with our twins. I feel the pull towards them when they're around, so I avoid it until I feel it fade away, letting me know they're gone again. I've seen them look around as if they've lost something, but I know it isn't me. They don't know to look for me anymore. I have to hold my breath when they're near me so I can't smell their scents, or the scent of their new omega, who just so happens to be my mate as well, but he doesn't know that.

Sometimes I wish I'd have pushed myself back into their lives, made sure they remembered me, but sometimes I'm happy I didn't. Most of the time, I regret walking away, because my heart has never healed, at least not fully. My girls are the only things that keep me going most days. They're five now, and both just presented as alphas. As proud as I am, my heart cracked more when I was the only one who was there to show them how happy I was for them.

I'm scared for the day the girls discover who their fathers are. It's natural for a kid to get curious, it's automatic for an alpha to be able to sniff them out. I've never lied to them about my other mates, just kept it very, kid-friendly, until they're old enough to understand.

I guess only time will tell...

Only time can heal the wounds...

And only fate can give back what it took away the first time...