12 Days of Ramenzo

santa's helper

Little brothers are good for two things: inflicting pain and emptying your wallet.

Kaizo supposes he isn't giving the tiny menace full credit - he can be an excellent source of unpaid labor - but that's about the extent of their usefulness.

Once again, Kaizo finds himself burdened with babysitting duty. Sure he has assignments and exams to study for, all cramming in together now that the semester is drawing to a close, but who needs a quiet workspace when there's snow outside and shops boasting sales. The mall is seasonal markdowns galore and Pang drags Kaizo through winding mazes of storefronts, announcing his growing wishlist of Christmas presents. At this rate he'll be giving the entire complex good business.

"I want a remote control car," the five-year-old decides. His eyes are bright with awe as the kiosk manager handles the remote, making the little car zoom back and forth, then flip over and run circles.

"Right, so we're crossing off the Lego set and the giant chocolates basket, then?" Kaizo nudges him away from the display.

Fang pouts. "I want chocolates."

"You'll get cavities," Kaizo explains. "And that basket is way too big for you. You have to start taking things off your list, cause I can't get all of them for you."

"What about the interence money?" Fang presses.

Kaizo stops, narrowing his eyes. "What?"

"I heard Lahap talking about how there was like a jillion dollars in the bank interence money," Fang drawls. "That's enough for everything on my list and lots more."

Kaizo shakes his head incredulously. "Okay, first of all, I'm not even allowed to touch that money till I'm eighteen-"

"But they gave you a card, I saw!" Fang insists, clearly under the impression that card = unlimited sum of disposable money.

Kaizo sighs. "Listen, you'll understand when you're older. For now, you're going to have to be a good boy and ask Santa for one thing, okay? Just one."

"But Santa can give me lots of things, can't he?" Fang pleads. "If you give me some things and Santa gives me the rest then I can still ask for everything I want!"

In an ideal world, Kaizo and Santa Claus would be two separate benevolent entities both manifesting Pang's material happiness. In reality, Kaizo has a budget of less than two hundred dollars, and that's for both of them, plus his classroom Secret Santa.

He winces and tries again.

"Santa doesn't have that much for one kid," he says gently. "So aim a little lower?"

"I want a penguin," Fang decides. "You can get ten normal sized chocolate bars and I want a penguin from Santa Claus."

Kaizo freezes. "You can't get a penguin..."

Pang appears on the verge of a tantrum. "Whyyy nottt?"

"Santa Claus lives in the North Pole, penguins are in the South Pole," Kaizo explains logically. "So Santa can't bring you a penguin." He prays that Pang doesn't ask for a polar bear next.

Fang's head lowers in disappointment, and he narrows his eyes. He shuffles his feet and discreetly attempts to kick Kaizo, but Kaizo dodges in time, and shifts further away.

"I want a new iPad," he declares in front of the next store.

Kaizo groans and drags him away.

-

The center of the mall is an indoor ice rink, and Pang stops in front of the glass barrier to watch the people inside glide across the frozen floor. Kaizo stands beside him, staring up at the ceiling and taking in the paper snowflakes hanging from the roof. Some are framed with tinsel, others expanded with glittery plastic and containing flickering lights that illuminate in different colors. The fluorescent mall lights are turned down and the tiny LEDs glitter, casting a different sort of glow over the skaters below.