Blazing Crystal (Revised Version)

Chapter 63: Sleepless

Chapter 63: Sleepless

(Crystal POV)

Three days had passed since Aang and Zuko returned from their trip to the Sun Warriors temple. During that time, they had been training non-stop and everyone could see that Aang had greatly improved in his firebending. When he started he was just creating sparks. However, yesterday he was shooting streams of fire from one end of the canyon to the other. The very sight of his firebending brought intrigue from everyone in the group. The more Aang improved, the greater hope the group had towards winning the war. As the excitement started to build amongst everyone, it was very clear one person in the group remained fearful.

Me...

While the gang began to chat about defeating the Fire Lord, I kept silent as the weariness and uncertainty remained within me. Although Aang was getting stronger, I couldn't shake the terrifying image of Fire Lord Ozai. His darkness was embedded in my mind, and I was scared of what would happen to Aang if he failed in defeating the man.

My mind replayed the events of my capture. I thought about how I used my bloodbending to stop the man from killing Zuko. Even if I could get close enough to help Aang by taking away the Fire Lord's movements, the thought of going near that monster again stopped me from even suggesting the option to Aang. Also, I knew offering my service to him in such a way would quickly be denied. Aang would never let me near that man again after what had happened to me, so I knew suggesting was a waste of air. Also, bloodbending made me nervous. I only wanted to use it again if I absolutely had to.

Katara began to notice, as the others spoke about victory, that I was remaining silent on my side of the fire. She was seated beside me, silently observing my expression as it twisted at times in pain. She grabbed my hand which reached to toss another twig in the flames absentmindedly, and this made me jump as she brought me out of the deep darkness of my mind.

"Hey," she began softly, making me stop my movement and shut my eyes with defeat. She was always so good at seeing through me. "You okay?"

She was trying to whisper so the others didn't jump in with worry. I grimaced wishing she wouldn't be so perceptive. She had been asking that question to me often in the last few days.

"Just have a lot on my mind. But it's nothing to worry about," I promised. "I'll be fine."

She slowly released my hand. "Are you sure you don't want to talk?"

Shaking my head, I opened my eyes to meet her sisterly gaze. "I'm just overthinking things. Don't worry."

She nodded slowly, but I could sense she was still worried. "Well, you know I'm here. If you need to talk I'm ready to listen."

I nodded to let her know I would come to her if that were the case. At the moment, telling her I didn't have faith we would defeat the Fire Lord would hurt more feelings than I wanted. I needed to trust Aang, and yet all I could think about was how unlucky these last few months had been. My uncertainty would offend the others. I had to keep my mouth shut.

Sokka broke in suddenly from the other side of the fire where he sat by Aang, noticing our exchange. "What are you two whispering about over there?"

Katara quickly dismissed his question. "If we wanted you to know you would've heard it."

He went to argue, but saw my exhaustion and decided not to comment.

Although I had been healed by Katara in the last few days, I was still mentally and physically exhausted. While my ribs, shoulder, and the discomfort on my new scar were barely noticeable, the nightmares continued. Because the nightmares continued, I had not been sleeping well and spent most of the night lying awake too scared to even try and return to my dreams.