Issues

NA Meeting

"My name is Cinder and I'm an addict."

"Hello Cinder."

"I'm 24 years old. I've been using for 7 years now. I've been arrested 26 times for drugs, theft and violence. I'm here because I'm a drug addict and I don't want to go to prison."

"Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?"

"I just did."

"Well, maybe something a little more personal instead of just plain facts?"

What could she actually say?
The truth?

No.

A lie?

Yes, but what lie?
Cinder has told so many lies about herself to ignore her past and present that she didn't even know what she could say.

The last six years in Cinder's life have not been a hoot. With her stepfather, Carlos, at home, always fighting and beating up her mom. Her little sister, Peony, who was only 15 years old and already drawn into this mess of a life. Her mother who was...well, Cinder didn't really know what she was.

When she was younger her mom told her that she and Carlos loved each other, but over the years she understood that it was a complete lie. Her mom is with Carlos only for the money, but why go through all this?
Why scar your 15 years old daughter?
She didn't know.

She could remember every time Peony called her crying, asking her to come to the house because Carlos was acting out. She always came, always took care of things, even when they were hard.

Cinder left the house 5 years ago when she was 19 years old. It was hard. She had to work most of the day and night. However, after a while, she realized that working at day couldn't work due to the emergencies at the house. So she worked at night and slept during the day. She worked at Pitz's Bar. It was good, the money was enough for the rent to her apartment.

Growing up with her stepfather was unbearable. He was a very violent man and seeing her mother so defeated and helpless made her feel like she should have done something to protect her; to stop her pain. There was that one time when Cinder stole Carlos's gun in the middle of the night, she was on the verge of killing herself and ending it all at once. She felt as if death was her only option. That was when she started doing drugs, at age 17. It started as one or two cigarettes a day, just to relax herself and make everything go away for just a little while. But soon, with her life getting out of hand, Cinder got addicted to that feeling — the distraction the drugs provided.

It helped her escape and forget the crappy life she was living, even if it was only for a few hours. It helped when she lost hope; when she just couldn't take it anymore.

But not even the alcohol and drugs took away the fact that she was alone. Yes, she had her sister and her mother but her sister was only 15 and her mom was not exactly the person Cinder was able to have a heart-to-heart conversation with.

So she started hooking up with guys that hit on her at the bar, getting high with random people at parties. At that time she didn't feel like herself, she felt as if she were living another person's life — acting like another person. She lost control. And then she met Carswell Thorne.

They met under very weird circumstances; she was at her apartment when she got a phone call from Peony, not explaining anything, just telling her to come home fast. She immediately got in her car and drove off. She found the door locked and heard Carlos and her mom fighting, but she knew there was more to it.

She tried to kick the door open, but it didn't work. She tried everything she could, but the stupid door wouldn't budge.

Then she heard a voice behind her saying, 'looks like you could use some help'. She turned around and saw Carswell, or as he would prefer to be called, Thorne. She moved aside, seeing the sledgehammer in his hand. He crushed the lock within one strike. She didn't even thank him and just ran inside, knowing there was no time to waste.