Nine Lives

Seventeen: Alice

Adrenaline bursts through me as I fly over the ice. I've never done this before, barely had fun except for Shifting, but even that had its limits.

"Ready for me to come out?" Jack asks. I give him a nod. He glides out, taking my hand. The ice seems to agree with him, allowing the skates to slip across steadily. With a challenging, daring glint reflecting in his eyes, Jack twirls me. I spin,watching the world go by in a blur of white. A burning feeling rises in my chest. It spreads and tickles, giving me something I've never felt before. It's an aching, tingling feeling, but I want it. It hurts and burns, yet I need it, need to feel freedom again. The freedom to not be judged, mentally or physically, or guarded. To be my own person that can do what she wants. Including love.

After what seems like hours of skating, we stop, and I let Jack pull me into the center of the ice. A grey sky floats over us. Snow flurries down, settling on the ground.

"I barely know you," Jack admits, staring into my eyes. "Yet, I could tell your life story, beginning to end." I smile, wondering how this could happen. Shifters don't love. We can't. I do. I don't want it to have to stop. Just let Jack love me. I'd love him too. I've trusted a human. Put all my secrets into his hands, hoping he'd do the right thing. Given it all away, for one human. One who's dramatically changed my life. And it was the best mistake I've ever made.

The last song ends, and a new one starts. I strain my ears to figure out what it is. Riptide, by Vance Joy. Practically my favorite song. I allow its melody to fall over me, become enveloped in the tune.

Jack's hands touches my shoulder, filling me with fear, doubt, and amazement. Soon, we are skating to Vance Joy's words, pulling together and apart. At some moments, we are so close, I can see the patterns in Jack's brown eyes. Like a star, fanning out around the black pupil. Eventually, I'm moving blindly, letting the words and Jack's hands guide me.

Oh lady, running down to the riptide.
Taken away to the dark side.
I wanna be your left hand man.
I love you, when you're singing that song and
I got a lump in my throat because
You're gonna sing the words wrong.

I realize I'm singing, but let myself, seeing it's been to long. The lyrics give me a certain understanding, as I see what they are really about. A boy loves a girl. She's running down the riptide, being taken away from him. He wants her so badly, he'll chase her down and follow her anywhere. But she doesn't perceive the world how he does. She sees it entirely different. She's singing the words wrong. That's how I see it. And when I do see it, I see Jack and myself.

The rush of something amazing bursts through me. Indescribable. It snakes through my veins, clamps around my wrists, burns into my heart. But I feel free as a bird.

Our skates slow, letting a rain of chiseled ice shower the side of the frozen lake. The music quiets, now washing over our heads instead of flowing through us. It's there, but now we're there too. Jack slides over to me, brown hair blown back.

"How do you like skatin'?" he asks, brushing my hair behind my ear. I cringe at his touch. A good cringe, an unexpected feeling of comfort.

"I think I'm warming up to it," I grin.

"That's nice." He pulls me in closer, embracing me in his arms. I feel wanted and cared for, and it's beautiful. Sick and tired of being a reject, feeling left behind, I snuggle in closer, leaning my head on Jack's shoulder. He doesn't move, just breathes. His chest rises and falls in sync with mine, in and out. His warm breathe exhales on my ear.

We stand there, embracing each other, shutting out the cold world. A cruel, judgmental world. Leaving it behind. The music continues to play softly. I close my eyes, allowing the serenity to cover me and suck me in, consume me without a second thought. Everything feels perfect. Like Jack and I could just stand here forever, wrapped in each other's arms, thinking, praying, and hoping.

"Jack," I finally sigh. "You know I can't--"

I except him to burst, raging with anger and boiling at how unfair my life is. But he doesn't move. Still as a statue, except for his breathing. I gaze over his shoulder far into the distance, wondering. "I know you can't love me. It's natural though to love! You can't stop it. Trust me, I know how bad this can hurt you, losing your human life. But you need to know that one, I'd stop lovin' you if I could, if it meant your safety and happiness--"

"I don't want you to stop loving me. I'd rather spend one hour with you and be a cat forever than live with the regret," tears slide onto Jack's shoulder. The tears drip off onto the ice, freezing and solidifying.

"I don't want to stop lovin' you," he moves away to look at me. Straight in the eye. Normally, when I human glazes at me in the eye I return a death glare, or shy away, trying to hide my inhuman eyes. It's different with Jack though. I want to read his story, delve out his secrets. Know all I can about him. Stare right into his chocolate eyes, watch their starry pattern, and understand everything.

"Good." I nestle into his shoulder, burying away the tears and leaving my past behind, covered by the snowflakes. I think about love. About Jack. The best mistake I've ever made.