𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐀𝐬𝐤 (𝐓𝐞𝐰𝐤𝐞𝐬𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐲 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

《 𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑬 》

It's been three weeks since Lily passed. I have been a mess. I've been locked up in my room, but every so often I allow Tewkesbury in. He was supposed to leave a few weeks ago, but he convinced his mother to allow him to stay here.

I cry to him and he stays with me. Embracing me. When I'm crying he embraces me in his arms and rubs my back, strokes my hair, or rubs my arms caringly. He stayed here for me.

He brings my meals up and makes sure I eat every last bit. He read stories from books so I could fall asleep, and I did. His voice is deep but calming and made it easy to sleep.

My sixteenth birthday was in fourteen days, exactly two weeks. I was supposed to have a ball but I told my mother to cancel it, and she respected my wishes.

My father arrived after the passing of Lily, but he returned to France a few days later. He's there doing political things, and he wasn't going to be here for my birthday. I wasn't angry, I never liked celebrating my birthday, but we needed him now more than ever.

I needed him here.

Tewksbury suggested we visit the ballroom so he could play piano. He wanted to show me that he could play a different song. I agreed because I know Lily wouldn't want me to stay locked up in my room.

He leaves tomorrow, his mother wants him back home. So he was spending his last few days with me. He had grown his hair quite a bit, and I'm not very fond of his long hair.

I will admit, I do like Tewkesbury here. I made a friend. He was there for me at my worst. Even when he could've left, he didn't. He stayed with me and took care of me.

I quickly got dressed, fixed my hair, and put on a ribbon. I almost cried because I remembered the last time I had put on a ribbon on Lily. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a knock at the door.

I walked over and opened the door and was greeted by Tewkesbury. I smiled lightly and he returned the smile.

"Are you ready for breakfast?" He asked, to which I nodded. I stepped out of my room and closed the door.

I turned back towards Tewkesbury and saw he lifted his arm for me. I lowered his arm, not accepting it.

"We don't have to do that. It's not like we are together," I explained.

"Right," Tewkesbury muttered as he returned his arm to his side.

***

After breakfast, I took Tewkesbury to the piano room. We arrived and he sat down on the bench and moved over a bit so I could sit with him.

"I learned how to play a different song," Tewkesbury said.

"Did you now? What song would that be?" I questioned him, teasing him. I was wondering what song he would choose. Something well-known and overplayed.

"You'll see," He smirked before rolling his neck to get some tension out of it. He then placed his hands on the piano and began to play.

A few measures in and I immediately recognized it as Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven. That was one of my favorite songs of his. Tewkesbury only played the first movement since it was a long piece and there are three movements. He played it beautifully. I wondered if he had practiced when I don't let anyone near me.

I clapped while Tewkesbury stood up and he dramatically bowed. I laughed at his silly gesture.

"You took my advice. Beethoven. Moonlight Sonata, great song choice. One of my favorites from him."

"Really? I like it too," He smiled. His smile was genuine and sweet, I smiled back at him.

We stayed in the ballroom and kept talking about our favorite pieces and different composers. By the end of our conversation, it was lunchtime.

***

After lunch, we headed outside towards the garden. Today was the best I felt in the past few weeks. I was glad Tewkesbury had made me feel better.

We were walking around and there were several flowers. Tewkesbury was looking closely at the flowers.

"Flowers are quite beautiful," I spoke up. I knew it was one of his many passions. "Many people take them for granted. They don't see their true meaning." I said looking at the peony he picked out.

"Dark red peonies mean love, passion, honor, and respect," He said standing up. We were face to face and he handed me the flower.

I grabbed it from him. I looked at it and then gave it back to him. It was nice that he gave me it, but I didn't like the meaning of the flower. Well most of the meaning applied to me, I didn't think so.

"You and I hold high honor here," I said, "But there isn't much to love. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, but I lost the person I had loved the most in this world." I said walking where the hydrangea flowers were. Tewkesbury followed closely behind.

There was a blue hydrangea flower cut out from the rest. I picked it up and handed it to Tewkesbury. The meaning behind the blue hydrangea was apology, gratitude, and understanding. He took it.

"I truly am sorry for any trouble I have caused you. I know I can be stubborn and sometimes I won't act so nice because of it. But, I'm forever thankful for you staying at my side during my lowest." I explained. He looked at the hydrangea and then at me.

"[Y/N], I really want this, us, to work out in the end." He told me. That was so much to ask for from me. I did too. But I had to do it.

"I as well want us to work. We have to do this." I answered back.

"You have done so much for me and it's not hard to see that you're a good person Tewkesbury," I said truthfully.

"You know what I ask myself?" I looked up at him. He started at me, waiting for me to go on.."What if I never had to be with you? All I ask is to make a change, but I can't. Because I'm a girl. What if all I asked was to be happy? And it's hard because it's slowly slipping.

I know you of all people would understand Tewkesbury. It's hard on both our ends. When you arrived, I didn't even want us to work, but I want to change things. I'm trying, I really am, especially since I have nothing left to lose now." I finished.

"[Y/N]," He stepped towards me trying to reach for my hand, but I stepped away from him before he got the chance.

"Thank you for helping us, and especially me." I took a deep breath. "I'll see you tomorrow Tewkesbury," I said, giving him a small smile before I left.

~~~

It was nice having Tewkesbury here, but I'd see him soon. We were to go to his house on the first day of July and stay there until the end of summer. But today he was leaving, and I wouldn't see him for another three weeks.

It was ten in the morning and it was quite sunny outside. Our mothers were talking while Nate and James were messing with each other. Which left me and Tewkesbury.

"So this is it. Well, at least three weeks from now." I smiled. "I don't like your hair long," I said, reaching for his hair, and playing with it once I made contact.

"It's not that long," Tewkesbury defended.

"Sure," I sarcastically said. The wind blew in our direction, it made my hair a tad crazy. Once the wind settled, Tewkesbury pushed a couple of strands of hair behind my ear. "Thanks," I muttered.

We don't say much. I think I said everything I needed to say yesterday. We saw his carriage start to pull up.

"I guess you have to leave me," I said sadly.

"I do," He sighed. A servant came to our side to pick up Tewkesbury's suitcase. He stopped him before he could pick it up. "It's alright, I got it." I smiled at that.

Tewkesbury turned around, "I'll see you soon," He smiled.

"You'll see me soon," I said as he put his hand out for me to shake. I ignored his hand and embraced him in a hug. He hugged me back. "Make sure you write to me. Okay?" I asked him.

"I will."