Torn

4

4
Markus

I sit, alone in the darkness of the winter night. The cold air chills me to the bone as I sit against the rough granite wall. Snow falls to the ground, laying a white blanket over the frozen dirt. The night reeks with a strong metallic scent, the smell wafting through the air. The only sound that can be heard is my own sobs. They echo through the empty courtyard, everyone else is sound asleep. Fat, salty tears roll off my face and fall to the snow-covered ground. They melt the snow, forming little divots where each tear falls.
In my mind all I can see is a knife, held by me, plunging into a person's side. He was young, around my age, he had fiery red hair and freckles dotted his face. His green eyes were cold, but light still shone in them. His already pale skin was drained of what little colour it had left. His grip on Halle finally loosened as blood began bubbling from his thin lips and his eyes rolled back into his head. Halle shoves his limp body off of her as some of his blood dripped onto her thick brown hair. The boy fell to the ground, thumping as he hit the concrete floor. I heard the crack of his skull as his head hit. I smelt the same metallic scent I smell now.
The muscles in my hand stopped working and the knife, dripping with blood, fell from my hand and dropped to the floor. The sound of metal scraping against concrete filled my ears as I backed away from the body. I only stopped backing up when I hit a cold wooden wall. I slowly fall to the floor, back still pressed against the wall. My whole body began to shake as I pulled my knees to my chest.
Halle tried talking to me, I couldn't hear her. I just saw her lips moving. I started mumbling something, I can't even remember what. Halle said something else that I still can't hear and reached a hand down to help me up.
I took her hand and let her pull me to my feet. My legs still shook, I stumbled and had to grip the wall to hold up my own weight.
The scene replays in my head a thousand times over and then again. I only stop thinking about it when a hand is laid on my shoulder.
I immediately sit up straight and wipe the tears from my face. I then look, up to see who had set their hand on my shoulder. It's Lady Sandoval.
"L-Lady Sandoval, my apologies, ma'am," I quickly hop to my feet and stand up tall.
"Don't worry, Markus. It's okay. Just... go back into the barracks." Lady Sandoval says, showing some rare sympathy towards me, though I have no clue why.
"Yes, ma'am. I turn my back to her and quickly walk into the barracks, careful not to wake any of the sleeping bodies.
I sit on my messy cot, blankets are thrown across it and some dirty clothes lay at the foot of it.
I start thinking of what happened again, and start crying for a second time.
I don't know how long I sit and sob for, but I stop when Halle wakes up from her slumber and looks at me, sitting there, sobbing like a little baby.