Dysfunctional Thoughts

amorous 🌌

I know it won't always be like this. We'll fight, we'll get mad. Well say things we don't mean. But I swear I'm going to work everyday to keep this, to keep him for as long as I possibly can because I've never felt this way with anyone else. The surge of emotions I get just when he lightly touches me is insane. I'm so in love, so madly in love and I think losing him could break me. No one's ever made me want to be a better person. No one's made me want to try, to work for a life. But he gives that to me. He gives me his all and I pray that I'll always be enough for him because I can't stand the idea that I could lose him. Prettier girls will come along, they might catch his eye but I'm going to make sure I keep his heart. I want to give him everything. I want to see him succeed, and I want to be the one standing right there beside him through that success and though every failure. I'm terrified that he doesn't feel this strongly about me too. Terrified that one day I'll wake up, and he'll look in my eyes and won't feel this attachment or tenderness that I feel for him every time I see his face or hear his voice. He has opened up so much for me in such a short amount of time. I've never laid with someone and imagined a life with them. Never envisioned the warmth and love that a home could have. But I want that with him. I need that with him. He had flaws, he can be childish and sometimes I don't understand him but I'm going to make put in ever little effort possible to make this work.

I love him.

And this is a different love.

I want to be vulnerable, see him vulnerable. I want to be selfless. Cherish him. Be unconditional and eternal and decoted.

I am infatuated.