Can't Live Without You [BEING EDITED]

A Turn for the Worst

Perrie had been acting rather strange a few weeks after Jade had revealed her secret to her. She was always being very distant towards Jade, and the older girl had no idea what was going on.

By this time, Jade had told Leigh-Anne and Jesy about her crush on Perrie, struggling to keep the secret to herself. Leigh didn't react badly, she had kind of thought Jade felt that way about her friend for a while. Jes, however was stunned and excited, as she always was when two of her friends had a chance of being together.

Whenever Jade would message Perrie however, the blonde-haired girl wouldnt reply or would simply say she was busy or didn't feel like talking to anyone. But Jade knew this was a lie as she was usually talking to Jes and Leigh and almost never ignored her for anything. Part of Jade thought Perrie was judging her for being a lesbian, but she chose not to think about it. If Perrie had a problem with it she would have brought it up by now.

A week went by and things only got worse. Perrie no longer called Jade by her nickname and soon barely spoke to the girl at all. In class, she had moved to go and sit with Zayn Malik, the hottest guy -in most girls' opinion- in their year. Again, Jade felt the sting of jealousy and wanted nothing more than to tear off the boy's head.

***

It was a while after Perrie's odd behaviour started that Jade decided she needed a day out with her girls to take her mind off things.

"Hey Jes, hey Leigh." Jade greeted her friends as she walked up to them in the parking lot of the mall.

The three girls wandered around all the different stores, buying clothes, shoes, and anything else that caught their eye. After hours of shopping they took a break to get some lunch at their favourite fast food place. The girls were there so often that when they entered the little burger joint the owner greeted them by name and gave them their regular seat and brought them their usuals without needing to ask.

"Thanks for coming out today guys." Jade spoke through a mouthful of fries.

"Its no problem girly. Where's Perrie anyway, I've noticed you guys havent been spending much time together lately." Jesy wondered.

"Honestly, I have no clue. She's been getting more and more distant from me since I told her I was into girls." Jade sighed, upset at the topic of her friend, or rather who she thought was her friend.

"Maybe she found out you like her." Leigh pointed out.

"How would she know about that though?" Jade dreaded the possibility. If Perrie knew she liked her it would completely ruin their friendship and explain why she had been acting so strangely towards the older girl. "The only people I've told are you guys, theres no way she would find out."

"And Katie." Jesy mentioned. "Remember, you accidentally let it slip to her during English."

Jade sat up in shock. "Oh my god, you're right. That little bitch. Now Perrie probably hates me and thinks Im weird."

Leigh put her arm around her stressed friend. "Chill out girl just give her some time."

"Yeah this is Perrie were talking about after all. You guys are never gonna not be friends." Jes chimed in.

Jade just hoped they were right.

***

Things finally started to get better around the end of term. Jesy and Leigh were away, so it was just Perrie and Jade from their small group of friends. Zayn wasn't there either, making Jade's day even better.

They were just mucking around in the back of English class as usual with Michael, throwing random objects to each other. Occasionally one of them would get hit in the face but they didn't care. The teacher somehow didn't notice much, it was unknown how she didn't as the teens were being very rowdy the whole time and got almost no work done. Things for Jade kind of felt okay again.

Just as Jade thought she and Perrie were back to normal again, suddenly it was like a switch clicked inside the younger girl and she turned her attention to Zayn. Zayn was always flirting with Perrie and she just took it as him being friendly. Jade thought he was a fucking douche and from the moment she met him she knew he'd be a complete dickhead. For the rest of the lesson, the rest of the day actually, Perrie just ignored her friend like she wasn't even there.

'What the hell is going on here?' Jade thought.

***

The end of term had finally arrived and Perrie still wouldn't talk to Jade or tell her why she was being so distant. She was being extremely stubborn in the older girl's opinion, so Jade decided to come up with a way for Perrie to tell her without knowing.

Jade opened up Wattpad and logged onto her new account which no one knew belonged to her. She had set up this account a while ago for 2 reasons.

The first reason was to find out if Perrie was into girls and if she might like her. The second was to get all her emotions out through her writing. If people judged her it wouldn't matter as they didn't know who she was.

After following Perrie and her following back, Jade messaged her, saying she was a friend of Jesy and Jade, but only knew them through Wattpad. Using her own name instead of Leigh's seemed like a good idea, she didn't want it to seem too obvious. Perrie seemed to believe her.

After about a week of talking to Perrie on Wattpad, Jade still couldn't get her to say anything. After a while she just gave up trying and told Perrie it was her.

Perrie's reaction was so far from what Jade had expected. It was suddenly like she was a different person all together. She messaged the brunette on Facebook telling her that she was really pissed off, that she could never trust Jade again, that they were no longer friends, and that she hated her.

That's when Jade broke down.

'What have I done? Paige hates me?' So many thoughts started swarming through Jade's head. She didnt know how to feel or how to fix what had just happened. It felt like someone was twisting a knife inside her heart, like there was this big gaping hole in her chest. How did everything fall apart in just a few weeks? Jade thought there was no way in hell things were ever going to be right again.

Jade spent hours that night crying. She constantly tried to stop the tears running down her face but she couldn't. Eventually she just gave up on trying to calm herself down and after a few hours she finally fell asleep, too drained of energy to keep her eyes open.

***

It was almost the end of the holidays. Perrie and Jade had barely spoken to each other and Perrie was now full on ignoring the brunette. Jade's ex-boyfriend, Jacob, had started talking to her again and on top of everything else she found out that he still loved her.

Jade felt really bad because she didn't love him back. But apparently all he wanted was for the girl to be happy. They talked for a while and ended up on the subject of Perrie. Jade told Jacob everything and how she didn't know what to do or how to fix things.

Jacob wanted to help so he decided to message Perrie himself. Perrie had no idea who he was and Jade doubted she would reply. Jacob wouldn't tell her if Perrie had responded to the message or not so she was completely in the dark.

The boy tried his best to cheer Jade up, but nothing really seemed to work. Jade decided to message her friends and write some music as a way to take her mind off things. Soon she fell asleep, thinking about what it was gonna be like when she went back to school the next week, and hoping none of the nightmares would come back. It was so hard for Jade, feeling so alone. She'd never had to deal with this before, someone absolutely hating her when she thought the world of them. Nevertheless she knew she had to just suck it up and take whatever was coming her way.